For Socrates

Why does the financial industry keep robbing us?

2011-07-28T08:50:00.001-04:00

In my opinion the financial crisis of 2008 was the single biggest heists in human history - a prized title that is fought for fiercely. The Spanish did a great job of it in their conquest of the Latin American lands with their ransom of the Inca emperor Atahualpa who paid 1 room (22 ft x 17 ft x 8 ft) full of gold once and full of silver twice for his freedom (and then was killed anyway). At about the same time, Europe's feudal lords were doing an even better job charging their destitute farmers taxes so exorbitant the strain forced the people into a chain of revolutions. And from there our society was born and is no different.

And in this corner...Weighing in a 10 trillion dollars...

For the last 10-15 years, the banks have relied on tricks of slight of hand to fool our governments into thinking they knew what they were doing. "See the debt? Now you don't!" was the order of the day. Our painfully under-qualified and under-equipped Secretaries of Finance / Ministers of Finance either couldn't understand how this magic trick worked or were complicit. I have a hard time understanding how logic allows anyone to believe the rabbit has actually disappeared into the hat perhaps I suffer from common sense. Part II of this trick was to then make the problem so big when the rabbit reappeared (and had pooped all over the house) that the whole system was in jeopardy. Incidentally I think I may disagree here with our men of power and influence about the strength of our systems.

Yes we need the financial system. Yes we need a free flow of money. But do we need it to be some damn big it can put our society at risk? Do we need to submit to the growth addiction required to make it survive? It also feels like we are now ruled by new feudal lords - the bankers. Anyways, not to digress, we did bail them out in the end so that instead of having our financial system at risk we now have our entire country at risk. List of candidates: Greece, Portugal, Ireland, Spain, (insert any other countries you want here), and most frightening of all The United States of America. Effect: Selling off of many "social assets", cutting of "social programs", and basically taxing the current and future benefits and security of our society.

Why this has happened is simple. Imagine you go to the bank and get a mortgage. They will lend you money back based on your ability to repay and factor in that decision previous payment history (credit score), money saved up (assets you managed to accumulate), and your past and current income (earning power). The logic is that if you keep doing what you have been you will be able to pay back $XXX amount in XX years. Now imagine your banker says this to you: "I can lend you twice that amount if what we do is factor in your FUTURE EARNING GROWTH. Do you think 4-5% yearly increases in your salary for as long as you work sound reasonable?" Obviously, you'd have to be a fool to say yes since you can't guarantee this and if it doesn't happen as planned then your ability to pay back your mortgage will be severely compromised. If you miss a few 4-5% raises because your boss says business is slow then you'll have to cut costs: Downgrade to a smaller car, move into a smaller house, cancel resto and movie nights, feed the kids less, and take the kids out of school and the parents out of retirement so they can (re)enter the job market. Well that's exactly what our governments do. That's why public debt is always rising and Congress has to approve raising the public "debt ceiling" before the August 2, 2011 deadline.

Back to the financial industry and them robbing us and why every piece of financial news is really grinding my gears. After bailing these banks out, many of them invested heavily in fixed income departments. Now because global instability has stalled the fixed income market layoffs are needed. And while your at it, lets trim some more "fat" because employees are commodities and not assets. 2,000 laid off at Credit Suisse, 10,000 laid off at HSBC, similar stories at UBS, Wells Fargo, and so on and so on. Even the illustrious market maker, the beacon of capitalism, Goldman Sachs will lay off 1,000 employees. To quote them 'not a significant layoff' consider the size of the workforce (35,500). It's not actually 1,000 individuals actually, it is just 2.8% of their workforce. Seems like a lot when you're one of the 1,000. And where are these companies refocusing their efforts with these cost cuts? On servicing the ultra-rich. A very profitable market to them. Here is an example of how Goldman's services it's ultra-rich.

Right now, Goldman has countless warehouses in the Detroit area where they are helping people in stockpiling aluminum and other industrial metals. The rational is simple. They "predict" that the market value of these metals will go up and therefore it will be profitable to stockpile these today to avoid higher future costs or to sell then at a profit in the future. No it won't work if you do it yourself by stockpiling your recycling in your garage. You just won't be able to get enough to cover the cost of 'losing' your garage. This is a very profitable game only for those that can afford to play (our ultra-rich). The problem with Goldman's approach is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy we pay for. In the end it is a wealth transfer from your pocket to the pocket of the rich. Here is why.

Because of Goldman's size and their customers' enormous resources, they can stockpile huge amounts of these metals. So much in fact that they can cause a shortage to manufacturers who need these to make things like toaster ovens, Cross pens, and cars (can you see why they picked Detroit for the warehouses now - future customers right across the street). This shortage mean GM will pay more for raw materials (in this case metal) which in turns means either they take the hit and make less money on each car or raise the price of cars. If they take the hit, they might eventually need a government bailout (circa 2009) and if they raise the price of the car then it will be more expensive for you to buy a car. Voila - Goldman's has just created a financial product for the ultra-rich that regardless of outcome transfers money from your pocket into their clients' pockets. Frustrating isn't it. Add to that Goldman trades in the futures of industrial metals so they are actually making money twice on this strategy. Something Goldman's loves to do (who wouldn't like to get paid twice for doing one thing?)

How is this legal? I don't know. If it feels wrong and you have less money afterwards you're either doing something you know you shouldn't be doing or you just got robbed. And since these metals go in everything we own from cell phones to washing machines to computers you can't escape it. It's actually the perfect crime. Just like the financial crisis. Actually I do know why it's legal. Because our Secretaries of Finance / Ministers of Finance are either under-qualified, under-equipped, too lazy, or complicit in the problem.

So there. That's my philosophy about that.

Facebook: Cool or uncool?

2011-06-28T21:04:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I spent too much time thinking about Facebook, Twitter, my websites, my cell phone, and all that online/connectivity/cell phone/ instant stuff. Three reasons for this: 1) many social media companies are going public and other companies like RIM are having a lot of issues so tons of press, 2) I use these platforms very often professionally (ie every day), and 3) as anyone who knows me will tell you, when my laptop or phone is with me, I am on it. So what preoccupied me? A simple question: When it comes down to it are these things cool or not? Not do they make me more efficient at work, or able to respond quickly to customers, or instantly Google anything I don't know but are they cool. Quick answer: Nope. In fact they are UNCOOL! All of it. All "connectivity". Used to be cool...for a moment. Now they're all uncool. In fact, by writing this very blog using this Blogger in Google Chrome on my laptop, I may be being uncool. Ironic? Yup.

I should define cool first. Cool is fresh, wholesome, puts a smile on your face, adds value to your life, makes the world a better place, helps you reach your true potential, liberates your soul, and ends up adding awesome to everything. And it does all these things at the same time. Cool things include good conversations, the Declaration of Independence, the Arab Spring, true love, self-determination, serving your country when it's right and fighting it when it's wrong, a useful level of tax and not an unreasonable quantity of tax breaks, meeting [new] people FACE TO FACE, believing, trying, the Universe, taking care of the planet, helping others, being part of a brick and mortar community, and so on. Incidentally Facebook was cool when it started because it helped you find old friend. I'm not sure Twitter ever was though.

[Yes, my definition of cool is partially inspired by Top Gear's Cool Wall. A very cool way to see cars for what they are.]

Back to the topic at hand. I have 5 reasons why Facebook and connectivity is uncool.

First reason it's uncool is that I "think" I "need" these things. Needing stuff like this is just uncool. Like a girl that "needs" a Gucci purse - uncool. In fact, any time I hear someone tell me they gotta check their Facebook or that they gotta Tweet, my brain thinks about the girl who "needs" Gucci. Don't get me wrong, I Facebook and Tweet but hearing someone gotta out loud confirms clearly it isn't cool. Therefore doing it must also be uncool. That's proof by transitive property if I remember my geometry. If a = b and b = c then a = c.

Second I think these things don't actually improve or add value to our lives in any REAL way. They're smoke and mirrors - the illusion of something - as the expression goes. The world worked just fine without them, I saw my friends more often, and got just as many things done just as well. In fact, I think we now wrongly attribute too many great things to "connectivity" in order to aggrandize its importance. Like the Egyptian Revolution: Is that really thanks to Twitter and Facebook??? Come on. Give me a break. The Americans and French did fine with their revolutions and they didn't even have electricity. Nobody "needed" to Tweet "OMG Louis XVI sucks. Meet me at the Bastille in 20." People knew.

Third, and the only reason that might be less than cooth, I think these things where fundamentally flawed from the get go. Two reasons for this:

Connectivity was created by our nerds. I'm not using the word in a derogatory or negative sense. Being a nerd is not necessarily uncool any more than being a jock is cool. I've met both that suck. In fact, in my experience the extreme of each is just as bad as the other. It's the super-nerd PhD math whizzes that wrote the super-infallible-equations that proved how subprime mortgage securities worked just fine and it's the jocks that sold them to us. Thanks guys. Working together you crashed the world's economies and everyone lost a whole bunch of money that never existed in the first place. I think they've done the same with this "connectivity". Not only are we inevitably going to lose a whole bunch of money again (if you're crazy enough to invest in any of the recent or coming IPO's like Linked In, Pandora, Groupon, and yes, Facebook power to you), they're making us believe that having a digital relationship with the world is better than having a analog (in person) relationship! That in "today's marketplace" of "virtual space interaction" you must be "connected" to have a "viable experience". Bah - stop trying to mind F#@K me! Just because nerds like avoid everyone and jocks like to steal your lunch money doesn't mean I need to fall into this. How does it even make any sense that we are listening to you???
Perhaps the bigger inception flaw is that these things were often designed to become huge business and we all know that most huge companies are uncool. There are a few exceptions to this rule but I can easily say 99% of big business isn't cool business. That's an unfortunate fact. Microsoft use to be cool. So did pre-Panamera/Cayenne-now-Volkswagen-because-I-screwed-up-my-leveraged-buyout-Porsche. Success can be cool and uncool at times. I think Google is mostly cool because it challenges the boundaries of the world but uncool because Google employees tend to think they own the world. The biggest paradox is that I think Apple the company is cool but Apple the products is hugely uncool. Bosche is a cool company - run for charity. So is Ikea I think - even though the owner is a little of a tax-evading douche. Berkshire Hathaway is very cool but I like Warren so I'm bias.

Forth, anything overdone isn't cool. That's just a fact. Like people that always use the same catch phrase over and over again (Wassup), Eddie Murphy's laugh anytime after Beverly Hills Cop, almost all movie sequels, the KFC Double Down, all dictators, anything but the very occasional smoke, using too many "quotation marks" in a blog post (guilty), QE2, putting too many links in a blog (guilty again), using the WORD COOL (see this blog), Facebook, connectivity - all. Farmville (try to justify that), most Youtube videos, lol/fml/lmao, texting, any Apple product that is white and chrome, ...I could go on forever...

Lastly, when is the last time Facebook added a cool feature? Integrated chat-email-messaging. Woohoo. Blow my mind. In fact, when is the last time anything truly amazing came out of that industry? iPad? Give me a break. It's a small computer. Who cares. And we all know it's mostly for show. Angry Birds? Yeah. Awesome. An App that lets me find my keys when I misplace them? Wait. That might actually be cool. Anyways, Apple, Facebook, Tweeting, Apps, Tablets, blaa blaa blaa. It's all just so uncool.

Fortunately I am not without a solution. I think it's time we steal the world from the jocks and nerds and give it to the average Joes, to those that never sought to impress, to those that didn't care if that sat at the front or at the back of the classroom. Give them a chance and see what they can do with the world. These are the people that actually make the world work and actually create real value anyways so nothing to lose. They already make our lives better with homemade spaghetti sauce businesses, art and music (they don't run the actual music companies, the privileged of sinking those belongs to the nerds and jocks of course), they run our thousands of small business fueled mostly by passion, farm our fields, build our houses, and occasionally get the chance to propose things to really improve the world that rarely get enacted [like the League of Nations].

We've given the spoils of our labour to families we made into monarchs and threw money at our jocks and nerds to improve our world. They've helped a little but mostly they've made the world uncool (and a mess by some accounts). I think it's time for us average Joes to give it a shot. They would most likely make this place a pretty cool world for everyone. Even if it was less "connected". (Is that term purposely ironic by the way?)

So there. That's my philosophy about that.

The Dictators Handbook: How to Keep Power and Quell Protests

2011-02-01T17:08:00.000-05:00

I wrote this quick (and definitely incomplete) list in support of the courageous people of the Middle East who in January 2011 started protesting in large numbers to expel their respective dictators and try to bring about real concrete change in their countries.

You may find when you read through this, as I have, that there are many things your own country does that is either dictatorial or encourages dictatorships.

May the courage of those in the Middle East be an inspiration not only to those of us who live in other dictatorial regimes but also to the rest of us who too frequently allow our own governments to act dictatorial.

QUICK CHECKLIST TO GET AND KEEP DICTATORIAL POWERS:

Demonize the person you are replacing whether they were democratic or dictatorial and whether they exist or are completely fictitious.
Build a support base with radical statements and big promises aka "revolution".
Call your party "The Democratic..." or "The Peoples..." or "The New ..." or "The National..." and "...Party". Preferably some combination of these - for example "The Peoples New National Democratic Party".
Kill and imprison a large numbers of people.
Threaten families of all those who oppose you.
Get the army, the wealthy, and power brokers on your side.
Give all your friends and family important roles in government.
Institute a state of widespread corruption to keep the above people happy.
Nationalize as many of the most profitable assets of the country as possible (typically oil & gas, hydro or other power, mining, communication, media, liquor, gambling, and so on)
Hire a huge section of the population in a bureaucracy that is disproportional to the size of the state.
Police, police, police.
Identify a somewhat believable enemy that you can never beat. Currently accepted threats include radical factions of the population (ex: "Kurds" or Terrorists) or an external force (ex: communists or imperialists).
Institute some kind of constant state of emergency or martial law or laws that allow you to detain people with little to no cause. Preferably call it a "Freedom" or "Security" or "Patriot" and "Act" or "Law".
Require permits to do anything and especially congregating.
Randomly arrest people for whatever reason.
Encourage people to be disloyal and report their friends, family, or neighbors.
Hold regular meaningless elections. Best methods include having only one party, outlawing other parties, arresting opposing candidates, and having only one option on ballots.
Take credit for every success. Blame your "enemies" for every failure.
Slowly destroy the middle class. They are the most likely to cause future problems.
Get a major superpower ally - preferably the US. Usually all this requires is a steady access to assets you have nationalized above.

DICTATOR'S GUIDE TO QUELLING THE INEVITABLE PROTESTS:

Ignore as long as possible.
Send basic police forces to hot zones to clear areas.
Shut down communication.
Use barricades and bigger police force to funnel protesters to areas where it is easier to:
Kill a few protesters to discourage behaviour. Use gas, water cannons, and sound cannons on the rest.
Downplay extend of protest on the national news. Preferably deny the presence of any protests.
Impose curfew after curfew. Arrest those that break it.
Withdraw police until looting and violence starts. Use looting and violence as an excuse to arrest more people.
Release prisoners. Preferably grant pardons those that agree to fight with protesters.
Run ordinary propaganda news on how good everything is, how small protests are, and pro-government groups. Find experts to support this.
Bring in military.
Send your family out of the country.
Do a few token acts to appease crowd (sack government, appoint new prime minister, ministers, etc, ).
If you're a completely crazy dictator like Stalin or Mugabe, use military to kill everyone.
Promise to step down in the future remembering to give no concrete date.
Fuel the jets. You are likely to need a few jets for your "golden parachutes" (see below).
Get all records of all assets locally and internationally. Transfer whatever remaining funds or assets you have left in the country to Switzerland.
Ransack federal reserves of cash, gold, US Treasuries, and other liquid assets and send to airport.
Call around to see which country will give you safe harbor.
Leave and spend the rest of your life fighting your former country's attempt to repatriate everything you stole from it.

//Ps. All this was inspired by

Mohamed Bouazizi
who took his own life tragically in what we now see is the most powerful and effective way to protest a government's wrongdoings. He did not blow himself up or kill others in the process. He took only his own life in a most dramatic and painful defiance. Thankfully it was for a good cause.

//Pps. Special thanks to Al Jazeera which has provided some amazing coverage which they have shared with American, Canadian, and I presume other world news channels who took a while to get their own coverage.
//Ppps. To the USA and specifically the Obama administration: I see nothing but status quo and "old ideas" from you. What a disappointment. You are the bastion of world freedom and opportunity and in the face of it you offer only restraint support. Had you shown restraint in the late 18th century you would probably still be a colony.
//Pppps. Special thanks to Twitter and Facebook who have made it easier to do good and spread the word.

How to lose a race: A commentary on Rogers and KFC

2010-11-02T21:04:00.000-04:00

Pervasive laziness really bothers me; especially on the larger scale. Every individual is entitled to have their off days. In trying times, I can even understand it lasting for weeks and months. But when the plague of not trying, easy solutions, and lazy thinking takes over a person's life permanently or works it way down from the top executive to all departments and becomes part of the very culture of a company, that really bugs me. When it permeates society as a whole, it goes without saying that we're in trouble.

Since it can be hard to say exactly what pushes an individual to that point, I can only say it mostly falls on friends and family to help that person out and back to their "real" life if they can't do it themselves. A friendly push in the right direction and back into the fight! In the same way, when it happens to a corporation, especially a very large one that I could be a customer of, I think it is everyone's responsibility as customers to set them straight. An intervention of sorts.

What the hell am I on about?

As far as I am concerned Rogers Telecommunication and KFC have crossed the line into the catatonically lazy as businesses and corporate citizens. As such I am pessimistic about their future prosperity and their current management and would recommend that everyone seriously revisit their respective relationship with these (especially if you're an investor). Let's start with KFC since they have crossed the line in a more direct and perhaps offensive way.

(I will not included BP, Halliburton and friends in this commentary even though they've showed Guinness Record worthy laziness in the form of millions of barrels of oil lost, $20+ billion dollar in costs and fines, unknowable possible ecological damage, a precipitous stock dive, and a rats scurrying from the ship attitude to life. To this I only wish to say that I hope the courts find a way to charge the rest of the rats (Halliburton and friends) a king's ransom for knowingly using defective items they were too lazy to fix.)

KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN

In case you didn't know, KFC and Yum! brands more generally have had a rough go over the last few years. Quarter after quarter they disappoint their owners with lackluster results and dismal prospects. The overarching reason is simple. While most junk peddlers are at least pretending to freshen up their menus with healthier options and helping us think they "care" about their customers, Yum! has pursued the strategy of more of the same. Well that's not entirely true. KFC has recently upped the ante by doing what only the most socially irresponsible company would do: launching a new 540 calorie bacon cheese fat chicken breaded deep fried greasy sandwich. While everyone seems to be working hard to get healthier and reduce the number of these things available to entice our fat addiction, KFC says "No! These are people we can take advantage of by making it harder for them to make the right choice." Drug dealer has 2-4-1 Tuesdays to make sure you'll never recover.

Truth be told, the Yum! executives are finally happy. This Crack-Fat-Chicken-Sandwich is breaking all KFC sales records and is a marketing sensation. In fact, it is one of the best selling items Yum! brands has launched in years. When I was first told about this I couldn't believe it. Good for them I guess. Instead of creating a viable and sustainable world with healthy chicken dishes (I can think of hundreds off the top of my head), they did the opposite and stayed right in their comfort zone. They actually went a step further and figured out how to make something worse (health-wise) than their current products by frying it, breading it, and adding cheese and bacon.

I think this product actually offends me. Sure it looks good in a weird way but I can't help that it makes me sad. Partly this is because it's such a success and that's a statement about who we are as people and how far we are from being truly healthy. We might just be vulnerable to this type of junk food. Like a weakness in character."I just want to try it" "It's my choice what I eat" "It's chicken!" we just can't seem to shake the bad habits. I'm not immune to this by any means. I'm know to eat food that is bad for me and enjoy it. But I like that we're trying to be better. I like that McDonald's has "leaner" options and that there are salads and wraps and veggie burgers at some of the big chains. Makes me feel good that most new products that the big fast food chains come up with are concerned with fat content, and sodium, and that they try to be reasonably healthy. They may not succeed but at least they're trying.

And that's the point. What is so offensive of KFC's product is that it is a slap in the face. We take the soda pop out of high schools to reduce obesity, KFC offers a monstrosity they can pick up on the way home. Products like this force us to ask hard questions about choice and limits and decisions and when to put our foot down. We don't let children buy cigarettes because we presume they don't have the tools to make an educated decision on the health hazards of smoking. KFC has sold 350,000 Double Downs in Canada in two (2) weeks and 10 million to Americans in a month! So what is KFC's North American contribution in less than one month:

5.6 billion calories
310,500 metric tons of fat
18 billion milligrams of sodium

Ouch.

KFC's latest creation like we treat smoking and tax the crap out of it. $10 a pop with half of that going to maintain the hospital beds needed for heart disease and other obesity related problems they will lead to. After all the link between consuming food like this, obesity, and health problems isn't science fiction. It's confirmed.

In the end, the sad truth about KFC's sandwich is that it has to force us to take a look at ourselves in the mirror. Beyond the simple sandwich and straight into the foundation of lazy and irresponsible thinking that created it. Why did they do? Who are these people? Do they have kids? Would they feed this to their children? In the end, this was about dollars and cents and an easy way to get these. Like our drug dealer friend, the best way to do little work and get a lot of pay is to pray on human weakness so that's what KFC did. What will come of all this? Nothing good. Nothing good ever comes from lazy thinking and preying on people. I even suspect there will eventually be some very negative backlash for KFC once people get over the craze and actually think about what they've eaten.

ROGERS TELECOMMUNICATIONS

Rogers isn't irresponsible but my god are they lazy. The most innovative thing they've done in the last 5 years is get temporary exclusivity on iPhones. That is it. Wait, there is that internet on-the-go thing. I have to give them that. Beyond these however, the rest of the time Rogers spends it days choosing between doing nothing and doing what the other guy is doing. Why companies become so lackadaisical when they reach the top is beyond me. Maybe it is because they can afford it. It really doesn't take much work for Rogers to get first dips on iPhones and Torches. I imagine it goes like this: Rogers "We're the market leader in Canada and we'd like exclusivity on ______" RIM or Apple "Okay". Though with a 24% drop in next profit last quart, maybe they can't afford just depending on their size after all... Google certainly never sit on it's heels. Maybe that's why in half the time they've blown past everyone.

The reason Rogers is making less money is simple, there are ALWAYS more competitive offerings out there that "wow" and convert customers. Wind Mobile offers free calling within and between "Wind" zones, there are a ton of no limit internet junior providers, and Netflicks offers great low-cost entertainment options. The interesting asterisk to this is that Wind runs on Rogers (they rent use), most low cost internet providers rent bandwidth from...yup...Rogers, and Netflicks, well Rogers responded to NetFlicks in Canada by lowering the download limits for new customers instead of exploring something more productive. Lazy, lazy, lazy. For crying out loud, that is like someone taking over my body and doing a better job at living my life! Give yourself a kick in the butt and TRY to make money with the infrastructure you own!

Here is the real kicker, the reason that Rogers made my list with KFC today. Videotron (a provincial telecommunication firm in Canada) has recently decided to get in on the mobile action. As part of their intro package, they figured out and priced a plan for their customers so they can speak unlimited within the province of Quebec. Few restrictions, no long distance. Innovative for Canada, fairly common for the U.S. Nevertheless, what was Rogers' inspired, thoughtful, reflective, and prescient reaction? To offer the exact same thing! I'm not joking either. Rogers is a national carrier. Videotron is only in Quebec. Rogers offered THE EXACT SAME THING with similar pricing and limited to the same geographic regions.

Common! Try a little! Convince me to do business with you! Tiny pea-pod carriers are entering the market by offering packages that are INTERESTING on your damn network! Every time and without fail Rogers reacts by offering something exactly the same. Rogers is the guy who always catches up but always ends up behind. That guy can never win a race. If he wants to win he has to dig deep and put in more energy than anyone else. Like Ed Rogers no doubt did countless times when he built the company into being the market leader.

Quite honestly, I don't think it wouldn't take much for Rogers to take over Canada's telecommunication world. All they need is a national plan similar to the ones offered in the US. They have the infrastructure and reserves to even kill some of their major competitors. A plan like that would revolutionize the Canadian mobile world and make Rogers supreme. Rogers even has enough clout to negotiate some pretty interesting deals with US carriers, Netflicks, Google, or whatever. Again, to make themselves interesting and at the forefront. Then again naybe they are happy catching up. Or maybe they're just happy owning the road. But one day the race will be on a new road and no matter how clean your pavement is, the runners won't come. And when that happens Rogers will live up to its current modus operandi and end up following - permanently.

(By the way, Videotron is probably the safer short-term bet since it is rumored they are working on going national with an unlimited. Guess who will probably do it after...AFTER!)

The irony of both Rogers and KFC is that both of them have the tools to make great products. Rogers is the king of telecom in Canada so all it takes is a little hard work to create REAL value for customers and they'd lock themselves in. KFC is the king of chicken (the leanest "meat" we eat as North Americans). All they need is to put some effort into creating really great AND healthy food. But with all the means and so much potential what do these companies do instead? Nothing really. Just stare at the wall, reach in their desk drawer, pull out an old pencil stub, and write down their brilliant strategy to do the same thing they've always done. More and more of the same. And that's why one day they look back and wonder where the lead went. Or worse the government bails them out...but that's another story.

Who killed the moustche?

2010-08-16T12:02:00.001-04:00

Over the last 30 or so years many things have come to be that I really like. We haven't had any huge wars, we created a "world wide web" and used it to communicate and share knowledge, we made normally sized mobile phones that fit inside of your pocket, we helped a few developing countries become economic powerhouses, we've become somewhat more permissive to things like homosexual marriages, and perhaps most importantly for us men, we've made huge strides in sharing the world with women. No question, I like these things.

However, there are some things that have come to be over the last 30 or so years that I don't like. We've allowed executives to demand paychecks that no longer make any sense, we've allowed our infrastructures - especially education and health care - to go to the dumps, we've punished our environment like never before, and we've killed the moustache (aka stache). These are all really serious things but the last one really gets to me. And with good reason. Let me explain.

There is nothing more "man" than a moustache so by killing the moustache I think we have killed "men" aka masculinity. So who killed it? Short answer is metrosexuality. Whereas the "cool" people use to sport a stache throughout the 80's (Tom Selleck stached in that gorgeous Ferrari), the 90's saw the birth of the metrosexual who has breeded and copied himself until the burly man of the 80's died and was replaced by eyebrow plucking, fancy sunglasses wearing, tight shirt, well manicured, clean shaven pretty boys. How did these guys beat the moustache!!?? This is where the long answer comes in.

Darwinism. That's right. A weird form of social Darwinsim killed the stache. Survival of the most likely to get a mate. Those preferred by women. This is my theory. That means we are all responsible. We correctly empowered women and addressed some of the ills of the past. No question we owed this to our significant others and I wouldn't want to live in a world that wasn't shared with them. But I think something went wrong. Somewhere in the process we did more than share, we started giving up our role in the world. How so? Let's use marketing to illustrate. Marketers target people who make buying decisions and try to convince them to buy their products. In a "couple" this would in theory be a joint decision. Ever really pay attention to the commercials on TV? They blatantly target women and ignore men. Even the new Old Spice ads target women! "Look at your man. Look at me. Now back to your man." "I have a moustache! He does not. Look at my moustache. Want me. Not him."
Clearly somewhere men made themselves useless in the market. In essence, our stock has gone down and we are economically unappealing to investors.

By emasculating men with respect to decision making, we allowed women or perhaps more precisely, the people marketing to women decide what a good looking man looks like. Since he can't interfere with the woman's buying decision, he must look weak and secondary - an accessory to the woman. Out with the moustache. Minimal facial hair please. These are way too masculine and could signify confidence and "power". That could mean he has an impact on the decision. Undesirable. We don't want cocksure rooster-man having input into things. Marketing department says "conversations" lead to "thinking" which can significantly interfering with buying. Let's make the man not talk. In fact, let's make him look like a boy and the women like women. Boys don't have facial hair. In fact they don't have chest or back hair either. Boys have zero hair. [End marketing department conversation.] Anyways, this boy-ification shifts the power dynamic from a shared one to one belonging only to the woman. The hairless man can be ignored as an influence and the message tells women "you don't need to talk to your man-boy to buy this. You are a modern woman."

It's a farce actually. Like when the salesman shames that man into buying something he doesn't need by saying "Do you need to talk to your wife before making decisions at work? Common, buy the 75" plasma 3D TV. She'll respect your initiative." Shameful that we all allow this to happen. That we've created a world were we've shamelessly silenced men and prefer to avoid a conversation. That we have forced men to look like boys. What the hell is wrong with being a man and being proud of it. I'm proud of women being women. Wouldn't want them to change at all - Even when they do things that I don't understand. Yes we ask women to be hairless but isn't that pretty and feminine? Is it hypocritical to simultaneously endorse hairlessness in women and question it in men. Isn't part of our very uniqueness our ability to sculpt our facial hair into wonderfully original forms?

So what am I suggesting? Let's all take responsibility and address these issues. Let's share the world with each other and have a conversation about things. Men, get involved in your lives dammit. Participate in some buying decisions and only wear Old Spice if you really like it; Not if it suddenly appears in the wash room. Rebalance the universe a little. Grow a moustache and wear it proudly. This will become the symbol of our commitment to redress this problem. What's more manly that stroking your stache while being deep in thought. Marvel in your magnificence when you look and feel like Tom Selleck, or Teddy Roosevelt, or that damn Old Spice guy! Be as proud of being a man as you are of how amazing women are! Women, you can help us too. Print and cut out the above moustache, put it on and walk up to a man and say "You can count on me!"

Support: Sport a Stache Facebook Group

So there. That's my philosophy about that.

Why I don't like the Olympics

2010-01-31T12:12:00.013-05:00

I have to admit something; I'm not a fan of the Olympics. There are aspects I really appreciate - like the raw sportsmanship and unbelievable skill athletes possess for their art - but all in all this is all lost in the event itself. Put simply, to me the Olympics are like those Extravagant Sweet Sixteen parties we see on TV - impressive but out of touch with reality, a complete waste of money, and not at all the "right of passage" they're suppose to be. In the end that girl won't be any more of a woman. In fact, she'll probably be more annoying than ever now that she knows she can get whatever she wants so everyone is worse off.

The Vancouver Sweet Sixteen Party is already fulfilling many of the Olympic Promises: Cost have been grossly underestimated, revenues were hugely overestimated, and so far all we know is that it will take at least one full generation to pay back the bill for this ($6 billion last I checked). This begs the questions: Why are the Olympics designed such that they are such money losers for the city unfortunate enough to win the bid? Why must hosting the Olympics be a Pyrrhic Victory of such gargantuan proportions?

To put things in perspective here are some numbers (Vancouver 2010 to date). Don't think these are a one-off case or that Vancouver mucked things up. These figures are typical of any hosting city.

Project Budget: Estimated $600 million vs. An actual of $6 billion (as of Feb 2010). Athens also went 10 x over budget by spending $16 billion instead of the $1.6 anticipated. Wow - what kind of rosy cheeked optimists are making these budgets??? Wonder if this includes the cost of moving snow to the mountain on a daily basis. Weather at Cypress is suppose to be 5 - 6C this week with rain which can't be helping that situation.

Revenues: Initially estimated at $10 billion vs. Revised estimate of $1 billion. Thankfully, this will be just enough to cover the security bill which, instead of costing $175 million as initially proposed, will cost closer to the full estimated revenue of $1 billion. To illustrate, revenue estimates and tourism numbers were so off that the "accommodation crunch" never happened and NewWest cancelled its plans to offer an extra 5,000 suites via a parked cruise ship. Sadly the biggest losers here are the terminally ill children of the Make a Wish Foundation that were to take residence on the ship as they fulfilled their wish.

Shortfall: A quick calculation and Vancouver will be around $4-5 billion in the hole after the Olympics. Some people will say that they will have all these nice new shiny and useful facilities and that tourists will come and that the money will be made back and Vancouver is now "on the map". Humbug, baloney, bull, yeah right! Montreal was $2.7 billion dollars in debt after the '76 Olympics and finished paying that off in 2005. I never say those Olympics and never met anyone that came to Montreal because we had them but I started paying taxes in 1994 which means I helped pay them off for 11 years. I wasn't even born when they happened and I paid for them a full third of my life. And the shiny facilities? Not to pick on Montreal but last I heard the only use for the Olympic Stadium there is testing echoes and providing heated condominiums to the local pigeon and crow population. Athens, who hosted the Olympics in 2004, has a whole slew of empty stadiums they pay $124 million+ a year to maintain. Hard earned dollars flushed down the toilet.

The main problem, as I see it, is the list of criteria the IOC has come to expect of hosting cities. It's not about the sports and the athleticism anymore. It is about everything being new, state of the art, media friendly, infrastructure, accommodation, creature comforts, and so on. Like the last three Star Wars movies, it is about showing off what can be done rather than thinking about what should be done - developing the content of the story. That's a shame because a hockey game between team Canada and Russia is just as exciting in existing facilities as it is in nice new shiny hundred million dollar facilities. And that is the point. The Olympics are about digging deep and using everything you have in your very core to succeed. They are not about performance enhancing drugs and gadgets and bells and whistles and all the things money can buy. They are about the human spirit and the ability to persevere in the face of adversity. The ability to do extra-ordinary things with ordinary things: two legs, two arms, an old hockey arena, and a few cleaned up buildings.

As we start to move the Olympics to the developing world, I have one piece of advice to the hosting cities: Do what you must to come in UNDER budget. Instead of spending, pretend to spend until it is too late for the IOC to pull your card and then spend even less. Hire the people you need, get some brooms and paint, and clean whatever buildings you already have until they look the part but save your money. The Games will be just as good and you might even make some money.

Is there a Power to Words?

2010-01-29T10:55:00.013-05:00

I recently had a heated discussion about the place certain taboo words play in our lives and the context under which it is okay to use them if any. The discussion was interesting and, as it happens, no agreement was reached so I thought I'd lay it out here to see what other people think.

To get straight to the point the words we were talking about are those that fall under "slurs". Most often they're words used to describe people of a certain colour, creed, religion, gender, sexual orientation, and so on - You know what I am talking about now. Of course, the majority of us know that to use any of these in anger or with serious intentions is completely backwards and unacceptable. That is not the usage we were arguing - thankfully. What we were discussing is the appropriateness of their usage in a joking and friendly manner between friends and specifically between friends in public.

The Question

Is it okay for my white friend to call my black friend "n_gga" in public or for my Austrian friend to call my Jewish friend a "k_ke" in public? What if this is an inside thing they have between them and the person subject to the slur doesn't care when his friend uses it: Is it okay then?

Well, we didn't reach a definitive answer so I will try to cover both sides. To be fair I will state my position first since my argument will undoubtedly be written skewed my way [can't help it!].

My gut tells me it is not okay to use these in public under any context. I will give you a few reason below but the bottom line is that hearing people use them makes me uncomfortable and I can't help but be concerned outsiders won't "get" the private joke between friends. So no - it's not okay.

The Argument

There tend to be two main lines of argument for their usage.

1) "Anyways, it's true"

and

2) "People just need to chill out" (aka "Get over it").

1) I can happily say I don't associate with anyone that would argue "It's true". Not even sure if there is any intelligent discussion to be had there. Arguing that would be just as useful as having a discussion with Paul Shirley on Haiti. Paul, remember, believes that helping the Haitian victims is like helping a bum on that street - a waste of time - and that, to paraphrase, it is their own damn fault anyway for living getting there. Anyways, I am pretty sure that this type of person is beyond my ability to reason with so let's skip to #2.

2) "People need to just chill out". Yes, I get it. It is a joke between friends and your friend doesn't mind and it isn't really anyone else's business and they call themselves that anyway and it's just a word and you don't mean anything by it and you love your friend and you don't care what other people think anyway and your lawyer/accountant/friend/gardener/couch is blaa blaa blaa and and and... I get it and maybe it is true that there is an argument to be made that the world needs to de-taboo these words and take away all their meaning. That we need to turn a new leaf and move forward.

I definitely know my friends care for each other and don't mean these words in a hurtful or intentionally harmful way. I can attest that it is, in fact, meant as a joke. Something with shock value and part of a routine they have developed over the years to amuse themselves. And yes, in the end, I even get that maybe it is my problem that it makes me uncomfortable and that every time they say it I can't help to look right and then left to see who's around - as if I was about to cross the street on a red light. Oh oh - watch out! So is it okay under this circumstance? Am I one of these people that "need to just chill out"?

Argument

I don't think so. It seems to me that there does exist a profound complexity to certain words - especially those with larger meanings and especially in public. Some words were born to dehumanize, label, and categorize people and verbalize the horrible things that happened under them. So they were granted a power of sorts. Quite unfortunately, this power means that the words have played a different role in our histories - especially in the public realm where dehumanization and "evil" deeds happened on a human scale exist. It is, after all, in the public realm that the worst of words for gay, black, female, and so on were use to control and limit the sphere of influence. It is probably because I believe that these words have this meaning permanently attached to them that I get uncomfortable when I hear racial slurs.

There is something else though. There is no question that these words are linked to and therefore eternal reminders of some of the darkest moments in our history. They are directly linked to some of the worst things people have done to each other - linked directly to torture, pain, enslavement, rape, the disenfranchised, and murders. As such, they must also serve a deep social purpose: To remind us of the very worst that lies in us and keep us vigilant in safeguarding our humanity. We must stand vigil to protect their meaning to make sure we never repeat the mistakes of history. If this is true, it would seem we might be better served by holding these words as gatekeepers and reminders of our worst misdeeds and biggest weakness and never let them get "cleaned" by time or de-tabooed. Why? BECAUSE we are human and BECAUSE we are fallible and subject to repeating the same mistake twice and even three times.

What does that mean? I guess one thing I then have to concede is that so called "self-users", like rappers and hip-hoppers that spit out the "N"-words as if their bank depended on it, are actually providing a horrible disservice to all of us by using words so flippantly. Their half hazard usage turns the historical into the mundane to the point where the association has shifted. "N_gga what?" is an everyday joke now thanks to the repetition of comedians and artists. Is this good? Well we associate the word more with music and jokes than with the history behind it now. Can we pat ourselves on the back and say it is just a joke and "hey, they say it to each other"? Is that is a defense? I don't think so because those that remember that history or worse yet, have been subject to it, know the true meaning of these words. Words have Power. The Power to liberate as well as the Power to denigrate.

Thoughts?

For Power and Glory

2010-01-19T08:24:00.010-05:00

"Don't feel bad for him. He'll be just fine." is probably what I need to hear right now but in a sense, I still do. Poor old Warren E. Buffet. Why do public companies seek power and glory only Roman Generals would fall on their swords to defend? And look what happened to Rome!

As most of you know Kraft Foods, that modest Chicago company and one of the rare Fortune 500 run by a woman incidentally (go go Irene Rosenfeld!), has decided it is tired of being the second biggest food company in the world and that it will leverage it's entire future on surpassing Nestle SA to take the top spot. Woo-bloody-hoo is all I have to say.

Absolutely ridiculous is also what I have to say. If the recent Crash hasn't taught everyone from the Fortune 500 CEO to the Mr. GM line assembler that it is critical to keep some reserves in case of storms, I don't know what can. Because when that storm comes, and it will, if you are stuck looking for "any port in the storm", you will find yourself at the mercy of pirates. A lesson Rosenfeld has somehow missed. Power and Glory and $100 million bonuses still reign supreme. To quote a non-existent modern CEO, "Screw the future! I need bling now!".

More details. For those who don't know, Kraft has leveraged absolutely everything to make this deal happen. Like you and I, that means selling your future. (Your home mortgage is really an advance on future income which you are selling to the bank. In the case of a mortgage for a home I think we can agree it sometimes makes sense. So long as home values aren't inflated and you know you'll have a job but we know all about that.) Back to Kraft. Cash reserves will be spend, new borrowing will happen, and shares will be issued diluting current shareholders. "Spared no expense," our General Rosenfeld will say, "every last soldier and bullet was used." Good for you!

For Kraft's biggest shareholder - who has been questioning this deal from the start - there is only a Pyrrhic Victory. Yes, poor old Warren who use to own 8.6% of Kraft will now own 7.2% or 6.4% or 5.5% after dilution instead of 5.4%, 4.9% or worse as he feared. He won that at least. But that just means more cash was used and that he also won an investment that now stand weaker in the face of the elements. An investment that is now exposed to possible emergency cash needs and creditors knocking at the door. I have no doubt Kraft will survive but I'm willing to bet it will probably have to divest a few more parts of itself when big bonds come due (Kraft sold it's entire North American frozen pizza business to Nestle to finance this adventure).

More important still for you and I is this: Who the hell wants to own stock in a company that doesn't listen to its biggest shareholders? Especially one that is legendary for his financial prowess. And to risk it's future to do so? That is just not good business. That is winning the battle to lose the war. As for our General Rosenfeld who didn't listen to her emperor's "suggestion"? I am willing to bet a whole bunch of shorted Kraft stock that her stewardship will come to a close.

[BTW - What's up with the new Kraft logo? Is that a butterfly? And why the lower case "kraft"? Isn't that the Yoplait logo? Someone explain this to me!]

Health Crisis Continues: Obesity Tops Smoking as #1 Public Enemy

2010-01-14T08:10:00.002-05:00

Just as the Nation is trying to rebuild its healthcare system and hundreds of policy makers scramble to make a viable plan for the future, an incredibly revealing 15 year study conducted by Columbia University and the City College of New York indicates that obesity is now a larger threat to the nation's health than smoking! What does this mean? Maybe it's time for fast food and soft drinks to carry Surgeon General's Warnings just like cigarettes!

WARNING: BIG MACS ARE HIGHLY ADDICTIVE AND CAN LEAD TO LIFE THREATING DISEASES!

WARNING: SUPER-SIZING KILLS!

The study, which didn't come as a surprise to many, found that between 1993 and 2005 smoking rates declined by 18.5% in adults whereas obesity increased by a staggering 85%. The fundamental problem with this shift is, of course, that obesity is linked to many more health problems than smoking. Think of it in these terms: Whereas smoking devastates people's lives with lung cancer, obesity transforms itself into a whole slew of problems from heart disease, circulatory complications, diabetes (especially Type 2), joint issues, sleep apnea, difficulty breathing, liver issues, and so on. The worst part of obesity is that these problems can often hit the person at the same time and, even though the problems are treated, obesity is frequently left untreated which means the problems eventually return.

Worse still, all the evidence shows that obesity rates are increasing ACROSS ALL AGE GROUPS. That means that even in children from 6 to 13 years of age we are looking at a 2 fold or 3 fold increase in cases. This is a trend that must be dealt with in a concise and concerted way. If our government took an active role in increasing the education and limiting the rights of tobacco companies to save the nation, it is time it takes a long hard look at those that are making us crave foods that cause damage to our health. If we can limit cigarette advertising for health reasons, I don't see why someone should be allowed to spend a full 30 second TV commercial showing me a sizzling and delicious looking burger? Yes! Maybe I am weak but it makes me want to eat it dammit!

Now that the evidence is clear that obesity is our #1 health concern, everyone should start now to take a proactive role to take control of their health. In the end, it is a lifestyle shift that we need in which we push ourselves and our families to make good choices. Carefully regimented eating habits, cutting out excess fats and excess processed foods, and regular exercise are the only solution and it starts at home. Most studies show that people need as little as half an hour a day of exercise and that this 30 minutes can even be split up into 3 parts. That's 10 minutes 3 times a day! Everyone can do this. These are things that we already know; now it is time to act.

[Ps. I hate how that picture of the cheeseburger (even with warning) is making me want a cheeseburger!]

3 Countries in 3 Weeks

2009-12-29T15:43:00.008-05:00

I like going to new places. Not only because there is a new world of sites but also because there is a perspective hidden in each country. What do I mean by that? I mean that there is "the way" the people of that country see their country and view life in general. That is probably the part of visiting foreign soil that intrigues me the most. Knowing myself, it probably intrigues me so much because it is so hard to put a finger on - to actually GET. Anyways....recently I traveled Switzerland, Egypt, Russia (via proxy), and France. I jotted some notes down on each - things that impressed onto me a way of seeing the world. I don't know if these lead to a structure for understanding these different peoples but it is an attempt... And like all attempts, probably needs work. Incidentally, one of my friends is working on an online platform I think will be genius for this type of "experiential" visit of another country. Looking forward to seeing that in action!

Anyways, these are notes. Pick a few and read them. It would be long and boring to read them all I would think...

SWITZERLAND

doesn't so much have cities as a whole bunch of small town sprawled around.
communities then farmland then community the farmland for kilometers and kilometers: now I understand why there is consocialism and cantons.
eau de vie - that's the booze of choice where I am. Not too bad.
women's bathroom on first floor. Men's on 3rd. I like that in a gallantry sort of way
toilet seat sanitizer fluid - that makes sense - and scrub brush. this we need in North America! Hell there are people that don't even have this in their homes!
doors that look like they could and do swing either way (push or pull). this is not a metaphor. the doors do swing both ways
adult magazines in plain view on bottom shelf. hmmm. where is the plastic wrapping and black-band protective plastic strip along the top shelf. how refreshing to demystify sex!
clean and organised - no question - everything is clean and organized. i can see the country ticking reliably like a finely made watch.
beautiful mountainous country. AWE. I am in a valley now. it is humbling. though I see the immediate strategic advantage of the country. naturally flanked by prohibitive mountains.
no plugs in airport. this is frustrating. I would have liked to plug in the laptop. Are the Swiss not as obsessed with work as we are?
everyone seems comfortable and peaceful. even if they are rushed.
some words: flug = flight. Gate = gate
educated. Gate announcement done in 3 languages by same guy... Of course probably hired because of that. then again, Switzerland is such a small country that borders so many other countries I guess it should be expected.

EGYPT

obviously old and cultured. Family and the past permeate everything about this place. definitely get a strange sense of permanence like this place will be here another 5000 years
from above you can see the entire city is covered with sand. from the roofs to the streets there is enough of a light coat that you can see the struggle. the desert encroaches itself onto the city. the city fights back and pushes the desert back out.
a long time ago they use to worship cats and it is easy to see why. there are cats everywhere and they clearly own the streets
government, government, government. for sure the single largest employer is society itself via state. and the majesty of these government buildings. reminds me of Karnak.
veiled women is an interesting representation of a different set of beliefs. I set no judgement on it though I don't understand it. men wear head coverings too. Everyone covers up in respect to god
opulence and poverty on the same corner. malnurished child asks me for some money while gleaming gentlemen gets into his M5 (which from what I understand is about 2-3x the price it is in North America)
remember when we use to put our windshield wipers up during the ice storm so they wouldn't freeze on the glass? they put their windsheild wipers up so they don't cook onto car during the day.
men holding hands. yup. it is normal here for male friends to hold hands while walking in the streets.
traffic of world class proportions. I've spent enough time in LA to know traffic but this puts LA traffic to shame!
kids working: peddling their wares. entrepreneurship is worldwide! these impoverished children sell any number of goods to make money: boxes of tissues, fruits, baskets, hand made nic-nacs, and so on. I wonder how this is structured. do they all work for a group?
get ready to tip for everything: it's a fantastic compensator for an economy that lacks much formalization and for the even greater lack of opportunity. someone will help you park. cross the street. open the door. carry your bag. and so on. tip. tip. tip. tip
a entire city as a living scrap yard. there are about 20 million egyptians in cairo and there must be 40 million cars. my guess is that at least a quarter are beyond repair and waiting to be swallowed by the desert. 4 flat tires and a dust cover worn thin by the wind is a clear indication.
streaming and beautiful concourse. kilometers of beautifully manicured government roads. I would to drive a very fast car on the military highway to Hurghada
national beer Stella. not the Stella Artoise we know. our stella is the original as every egyptian knows.
chicken burger from McDonald's has an actual chicken breast in it! Delicious! (oh and you can call to get McD's delivered 24 hours a day.)
Bad news for some. Stella does not produce any form of inebriating effect.

RUSSIA (via proxy)

everyone here has tan lines and cheek bones. it is actually impressive how structured their facial bones are.
getting changed in public doesn't seem to be an issue.especially not on the beach. refreshing in a way to be so liberated.
women are, simply put, half to 3/4 naked at the dance club. one woman was so undress I have no idea how she got into whatever it is she is wearing.
age concept for close is a 180 from what I've just come from in egypt. I wonder if I would be capable of letting my 14 year old daughter leave the house like that...
some words: Cairo=caiire , Paris = parrish
number one question i got - especially from women is.....Are you married? Is this because everyone in Russia is married or because girlfriends don't count?
Be careful where you eat because bad (canned) food is too easy to find: corn, beets, mushrooms... all from a can
I have never seen people smoke so much. the term chain smoking is perfect.
Some words: Spasibwo = thank you, slatka = sweet (taste), jarka = hot (temperature), boudye sdarova = with health (after sneeze), pojalousta = please
if you want to say no, you don't shake your finger. you make an X with your arms.
russian sort of makes sense after a few drinks. it's certainly easier to carry on a conversation anyway....
colorful clothes. bright and eye catching colors. kinda like that.
the mullet is back.

France

was nice but been here too many times and didn't bother... although i must admit that it does not have the former glory it did in my memories. you get a sense that control is slowly being lost and that the streets are taking over society. not sure if this makes sense but that is the gist of what i felt. especially in the tone of the locals.

I don't know if my notes help capture some of the less frequent things we notice on vacation but they are my key take aways. There is much more to learn but I think that needs more living amongst and less living under accommodation. Next time!

LISTS

2009-05-13T13:23:00.010-04:00

Lists are interesting. Especially lists where people list their qualities / characteristics. You know, when people state the 5 things that make them unique, fantastic, special, interesting, who they are. I think I like lists because they say so much more than what is actually listed - there's just so much info in there. For example:

I am short and stocky

well read

friendly

hardworking

and honest

I am Attractive

Successful

Adventurous

Intelligent

and Loyal

What do these lists say about my ficticious friends? For one I think the order and type of word is critical. What came first? What came last? Are the words general concept or self-complementary? From my lists we don't really know the gender. Both seem like guys to me but they could be girls. Could think they're guys because I am a guy or maybe because I was imaging a guy when I made them up. I still think they "feel" more guyish then girlish.

Anyways, guy/girl 1 seems to lack a little confidence. The first thing mentioned is size - obviously a concern. Words give me a general concept feel - not ego driven. I think this person comes off as the honest quiet reliable guy/girl at the office you can ask for help and that will come through. I read this person as the person everyone likes but few really like. (S)he isn't intense and doesn't drive a very emotional reaction in people. Then again (s)he doesn't live a very intense life either. (S)he does their thing, reads, is nice to others, works hard but in his/her own bubble, and never really rocks the boat - an honest person.

Guy/girl 2 you love or you hate. The words are all self-serving and the order is critical to the value system. This is a person that loves themselves or their life or both. Probably a lot of fun to hang out with but in doses. Attracts the opposite sex with their alpha-ness and they know it. Successful at work because they're not afraid to go after what they want. Then again, they have a wake of people they've at worst screwed over, at best left behind. "Loyal" seems thrown in because they realized they needed something that made them a "good person" but I think it comes off as artificial. This guy/girl lives their life for themselves, doesn't care if you like it because they're good at living their life, is up for anything all the time, leads an intense life, and this is more important than anything else - even "loyalty".

Then again, I made up the lists so I it probably says more about me than anything else...

When is success official?

2009-05-09T14:06:00.004-04:00

It's no secret to anyone that knows me that I've spent the last year and a half of my life building No Gym Required into something special. Like anything worth doing, this time has been as rewarding as it's been demanding. The following may seem like a silly question but I've been wondering lately: When will I be able to label this venture as successful? Does Warren Buffet consider his little project successful? Do you and when did you start feeling like that?

As some of you already know, the last 6 months have been very exciting: we're getting a lot of media attention (CNN recently!), we intiated amazing partnerships, we've been recongized by the business community, and we took on some amazing people to be part of the team. It would seem that things are starting to get a momentum of their own!

Business-wise, this is great news because it means the company is transitioning towards larger strategic goals as opposed to day-to-day tactical activities. But there is still so much work to do. These strategic projects are, I know, the ones that create a lasting and viable business. They're also fundamentally complex because they require a web of tactical executions prior and simultaneously. All this to say, I'd measure success by a person's/business's abilty to create and excute strategic projects. If that's my definition than we're not there yet.

My larger question is this: Since these projects should never stop, are you successful once you have a few under your belt or is success the process of executing these repeatedly? My guess, is that the answer is the latter. In other words, success is a work in progress and can die off as quickly as the strategic direction of your company falls apart. If that's the case, there is a long road ahead!

those that exceed

2009-04-18T03:57:00.003-04:00

i've become exceedingly curious about those that are brilliant. sorry can't be bothered to push the shift key

kuhn, bohr, socrates, hawkins, polanyi, newton, smith, locke, and arendt and einstein. seeing the world so clearly. grasping a human reality so fundamental they shortly become common sense. this impresses me.

but what about those that have never shone / shines but have IT. oops, capitalized that one.

susan boyle - to keep it current - captures something that excites us all. she is an older woman. she isn't a beauty queen. but she owned it as my brother would say. she gives us all hope. that we have something

i heard her, off-putting personality yes, sing and i am convinced. her talent is innate and absolute. maybe there doesn't exist a structure to maximize everyone's talent but i'm glad she's "out of the closet". wish we could all get out. wouldn't it be something if we all had an out-of-closet-thing-to-go-with.

half the work is talent, the other half is putting it out there.

good luck friends. if you've wanted to do something your whole life try because you can when your 48 and it's not too late but might as well do it now

So many great candidates are back in the mainstream.

2009-04-17T20:21:00.001-04:00

In an attempt to find some positive in the recent unemployment figures, I did two things recently: I looked at job posting in Canada & the U.S. and looked at the resume floating around in the ether. My logic was simple: compare and contrast. I remember doing something similar a few years ago and being barraged by uninteresting jobs in banking and insurance (watch out for Investors Group) and interested resumes of people undoubtedly employed in the uninteresting jobs mentioned before. "Hi I work at AIG and I want out! Don't really need another job but putting my resume up just in case..."

The bad news is that there are less jobs out there. The good news: 1) If the company is posting a job they've got there act together and are likely to last. 2) The posting don't fall under a narrow spectrum - there are options and multiple industries. 3) Most important - the candidates are great. People who would have aimed for high finance for promising payouts are aiming for other industries.

The implications are simple; better candidates to bring their skills to a variety of industries. Even though some say the overall quality of candidates has been reduced by a "implied right to graduate because I paid for school" candidates, people are just as smart as they've always been and we have access to them!

Happy hunting

decisive moments

2008-11-20T01:05:00.006-05:00

this is a challenging time for entrepreneurs such as you and i, employees such as some as you, superstar like some (definitely not me), and the leaders of world (others). the ongoing market slow down with its large scale losses have affected everyone: my father, my mother, my friends, everyone has felt it in their "investment portfolios". some of us have even lost the basics - job, home, access to credit, everything that defined our future...

i don't think anyone would argue that this is a decisive moment in history, however i think the decisiveness of the moment is not the moment itself but the decision we will make.

on the plate for those with decisions:
1) where to put money and what to put it in
2) how to regain north american competitiveness
3) WHO should get tax-payer dollars to get bailed out
4) what to do with uncompetitive industries such as u.s. auto
5) how to plan for the next few years and.
6) how bad will it get.

i am by no means in charge of this decisive moment. my sphere of influence is limited to a very small circle and my choice to start a business that i think will help people through this. i cannot decide whether to bail out general motors (and lose all my money and delay inevitable bankruptcy) or how and under what terms they should get the money.

my decisive moment is limited is whether to go ahead with this company and believe and hope that i can, in spite of everything happening in the world around me, create a world for myself and for those in search of something better.

my decisive moment is to do it. why (excuse the cheese): because yes i can and yes we can.

just because the world is on fire doesn't mean i should run for cover. i'd rather grab a bucket, run get water, and do what i can to put the fire around me OUT.

so have your decisive moment. do what you can. buy a stranger a coffee (like some), buy stocks you like, invest in yourself, change something, do anything to feel alive. i believe in you. i'll say it again. i believe in you.

it's a choice.

so there. that's my philosophy about that.

88 Minutes?

2008-04-10T23:39:00.003-04:00

Here is for the annals of history: I saw 88 Minutes [the movie that is being released shortly in theatres] over a year and a half ago on DVD. No joke. I think you can even rent it at some video stores (in China town) and I'm sure you can download it online. I don't get it.

Incidentally, it is in keeping with many of Pacino's recent films - a bastardized mix of the Godfather, Scarface, and Scent of a Woman with his characteristic yelling and unmistakable voice. I digress...

Someone please explain to me the logic of re-releasing a movie that should have been straight to the garbage in the first place! This is not Scarface on the silver screen (did that last year and it was pretty cool). This is a terrible movie, with a terrible plot, and terrible acting that might be passable on an ipod video in a crowded bus while standing next to a guy talking to himself - PERHAPS.

Watch it if you dare - at the theatre if you're stupid, rented if you're courageous. Then please tell me why!

what to do when the party is over?

2008-03-19T12:46:00.005-04:00

the party is ending so quickly everyone is scrambling to buy a last round, request a last song, and pick-up the remaining girl/boy left for the taking... the so-called credit crunch is the chaperon that has called it a night:

"ladies and gentlemen, we're glad you liked the show, please settle your tabs and don't forget to tip your waiter. we're closing to do some major renovations"

3 things that alarm me:
1) the feds incessant effort to bail out the economy bringing even more instability to the financial markets and into the pocketbooks of the masses
2) the critical instability of many of the watch guards of our financial society (who knows how many of these guys will go broke)
3) the global interdependency of financial markets and US financing of global growth for especially the last 5-7 years
and
4) the political instability that has been festered by the same provider of growth and prosperity.

mark my words, the party is over but no one will want to pick up the bill so everyone will have to pay the bill, plus hire new watch guards, and pay the price of having an unprotected pasture...

what to do. accumulate cash and guaranteed investments, lock in your loans, pay off small debts, and stock up on peanut butter and jam - it's great to make you feel better when the s@#t hits the fan...

My apologizes to those that only speak English, but this captures something I have discussed too well.

2008-01-23T21:17:00.000-05:00

A secret for tomorrow

2008-01-10T03:00:00.000-05:00

we all both live a certain accepted and, sometimes, under-appreciated life. with affirmed rules and known expectations - to be rejected or taken in. a system of quasi social mores; somewhat culturally defined/ accepted / self. our world rules theirs and who are we?

some of us won't accept: we few. we strange. we of a certain unaccepted culture that live in a world chasing a dream/reality of whatever nature: commitment-ism, determine-ism, financial independent-ism, social-ism, free-ism - we pursue something.

but what is that thing we chase?

self? being? existing? MONEY?

a wise friend of mine says money doesn't matter. albeit it is true that for that reality in which this person exists, who has more money than...well whatever...and is in no condition to create and argument to the feeble mind - nevertheless, i agree with this insightful being. we chase the right to be one onto the world and to matter UNIQUELY. To be one person in itself and to, as the Squidkid will say, "matter". To matter. let me say it again, for those that don't understand the fragility of it, To Matter.

this is the true dream. from poverty or wealth, we some want to matter

so there. that is my philosophy about that!

to answer a complaint

2008-01-05T00:04:00.000-05:00

a friend of mine recently told me that I failed to demonstrate the corralation between "Socrates" and the contents of this particular grove of randomness [I'll return to this latter point later on]... Socrates, it was postulated by my amicable counter-party, would never discuss such things as "the passing of gas" and contextualize this into some kind of weak argument for the idiosyncrasies of other people. He might, however, define the ignorance of not being able to tell the difference between a debit card, and a credit card.

To this, I both agree and disagree/

Socrates would both discuss the absolute inattention to what you are doing with respect to the "NAME on the PLASTIC" and its general link to the indifference of the masses towards living, intensity, and excellence [within that specific context of course].

And

He would digress most vociferously into the randomness of a public "passing of the gas" - to quote you - in the public context of the general social "Game" that inhabits the club scene. He, well let's face it, I would say that the basic conundrum of escape and reinitiation (BCERi) [pronounced "Bu-seri"] is most interesting at this very point of the nightly galavant\

is this not the essence of the "grove of randomness".. a field from which we cultivate the science of living

New Years Resolutions 2008

2007-12-31T09:19:00.000-05:00

Bringing in the New Year is, for most, a time of reflection and re-evaluation in which one typically revisits the last year (or years in some cases), assesses the success with which it was carried out via a series of preposterous criteria and comparisons, and auto-enforces an (overly in most cases) ambitious plan to internalize a personal revolution and reach aspired to goals.

Some goals for all of us in 2008:

1. Get that Kate Moss and Will Ferrell iconoclastic form I've always wanted
2. Increase my personal wealth like Conrad Black and Bernie Ebbers (two Canadians incidentally)
3. Get back on the wagon with Lindsay Lohan and mother Brittney
4. Do at least 3 good deeds that serve the world in general like George Bush and Robert Mugabe
5. Remain faithful and true to my cause like Senator Larry Craig and David Vitter
6. Maintain class and decorum, even in the face of adversity, as exemplified by Rosie and Donald, and Lisa Nowak
7. Appreciate what I have like Kanye West
8. Stay honest like Mulroney and the Canadian Federalites
9. Strive to make peace with my enemies like Israel, Palestine, and the Somalian government
10. Be true to my love like Brad and Jennifer, and Jessica and Nick

There you go friends: goals we can all aspire for 2008!

So there. That is my philosophy about that!

Public Etiquette

2007-12-13T21:57:00.000-05:00

Being social creatures, we are constantly forced to interact (or live) in close proximity to each other and deal with the idiosyncrasies of people we will never see again. One might ask, "If I never have to see you again, why can't you just act in accordance with accepted social mores and spare me the 1001 character flaws that make you you?" But no, people will be themselves and must be themselves at all times (a message to all those that look down on celebrities perhaps/)

Anyways, here are three situation I've been in recently that made me questions social cohesion and a proposed solution for each:

Example 1) The person that wears their overstuffed knapsack on crowded public transport. In my case, a TTC subway ride to work - a crammed TTC subway ride. What the hell is your problem? Can't see we're packed in here and that every bit of extra room is one more chance Bubba behind me won't accidentally bump into my ass every time the subway slows down and speeds up! Next time he pumps into me I'm going to grab your crotch so we can all share the awkward moment you're causing together.

Solution 1) Scissors! Bump into me once more with that bag and snip-snip, I'll apologize for accidentally cutting the straps - so sorry

Issue 2) The person that blasts bloody music on their cell phone for others' "enjoyment". In my case, while doing groceries in a relatively peaceful Dominions. First of all, why? Second of all, I like taking my time and enjoying my groceries -- so why and why that song? Can someone tell me if the headphone is dead? I think I'll start singing whatever song you are listening to you, and follow you around everywhere you go. How you like that?

Solution 2) Although I think the singing option is probably the most sensible solution, the urge is to snap the phone in half isn't it. That would complete me. Tough choice - I'll have to get back to you on this one.

Issue 3) Bar/Club farters. Double-U Tee Eff! What is up with those people that let one go at the bar/club and what were they eating before coming to the club!?! I was at my hot-spot in the big TO (Montreal boys will undoubtedly identify this as an oxymoron) talking to girls and man-o-man, someone was putting in work. Try to explain that one; no matter what everyone is guilty! All you can do is observe where the center of dispersion is (as people move away) and assume it is that person. Unfortunately, the bar/club farter is a clever creature and tends to act "on the move"...disgusting yet strategic.

Solution 3) I regret to inform you that there is no solution for this nemesis. He/she is unstoppable and can only be counteracted with a gentle move away and a witty recognition of the attack. Sad but true...

So there. That is my philosophy about that.

Radiohead: A strategy behind the experiement

2007-11-01T00:25:00.000-04:00

There is something interesting behind Radiohead's attempted pay-what-you-want experiment. Beyond the social experiment which, though interesting, I imagine will reveal itself a failure because of peoples' addiction to 'free' and the general character of internet users, the experiment was interesting because it constitutes a second major step towards redefining an element of the identification/distribution/profit business model in the arts.

itunes expanded distribution by proving there existed a viable internet distribution model. Radiohead (RH) has taken the next step by independently distributing its own album on to volunteer bidders. This transition, in theory, empowers both the artist and the consumer to define the terms of their transaction: The artist by defining the terms of the transaction and the consumer in the price to be paid. In practice, I think it empowered the consumer at the detriment of the artist (almost a 180 degree term from the classical "Pay-or-don't-buy) Big Label model).

Nevertheless, I think that RH is on the right track. The dynamics and added-value of the artist consumer relationship needs to change when free is so easy (with pirating). But how? I have some ideas but there are always drawback. I have to admit though, thanks to RH's experiment, we are drawing closer

So there. That is my philosophy about that

Dealing with telecoms

2007-10-16T23:17:00.000-04:00

This week I got a bill from Rogers (our local Canadian telecom that offers all the wireless, internet, cable, and home phone shenanigans one could want) that succeeded in shocking me. I must regretfully admit that every bill I get from my tele-friends has at least 3 minor errors and mis-billings but this one was the first to be past the half way point to a g-note! I don't know if you've ever gotten one of these but the first reaction is (gulp) "what did i do?", followed by (huh) "that's impossible!", and (hmmm) an in-depth study of the 184 page billing 'report card' [is it just me or is the bill ridiculously long?]

Why I was expecting this month to be expensive: First, I pay for two lines (one for me and one for my brother); Second, I have every conceivable package from extra daytime minutes to text messaging to early nights to Blackberry data package...(you get the picture); Third, I travel(a lot this month) = roaming (the anti-christ of all cell fees); Forth, I just purchased a new phone (for work).

As you all know by now, I am a savvy customer and did the calculation to get a rough idea of how bad it was going to be and how much I could pass along to the business. I came to a reasonably unreasonable figure - somewhere around 4 bills with the new phone, discounts, whatever...around half to the business was fair.

But where the hell was I going to put a $7-- bill! [Collections, there is an idea...]

Phase 1: Understanding. And so I mentally prepped myself and sat to study the tome that was my bill. Pages 1 through 50 are info, 51 through 100 flirtatious banter, 101 to 140 provide a description of aestheticism and stoic philosophy (a good read incidentally), and pages 141 to 184 some complex verisimilitude to what a bill should look like. There are numbers and words but no real logical link between them unless you take the 3 hour course Rogers offers(available online via Rogers cable internet for $29.99 + access fee + 911 + service fee + tax).

Let me tell you this bill was a symphony of mistakes. The discounts I was promised on the phone purchase were not there, I was incorrectly charged long distance on my corporate line, I had an extra service fee I was not suppose to have, and - to boot - they overcharged me on the long distance calls I made. Question: Isn't the system automated in the 21rst? How could they mess up my contracted charges?

Phase 3: Correcting. And so you end up speaking to Druidia "service sales customer support and inquiry adjustment billing specialist representative" (employee number 198-004-203-223) and can almost hear her talking to her friend sitting next to her. She proceeds to tell you that you are not reading the bill properly...blaa blaa blaa. ..those are the fees...Saturday sounds good...blaa blaa blaa...her son got a B in school because he shares he genes so she can't help you and, "Maybe you should talk to a manager."

[After speaking to this blithering idiot and getting passed along again I am thinking that if I am put back in the queue and have to provide my full name, telephone number (twice - even though I say it to the computer), birth date, postal code, mother's maiden name, father's shoe size, brother's date of conception, and marginal propensity to successfully select the appropriate mate in a crowd of strangers, I am going to become certifiable.]

Phase 4: The Manager.

[An aside - I have a theory: All minions at telecoms work on an idiot revolving door policy - hence the astronomical turnover and the constant "thank you sir for your patience sir, I'm in training sir, now can you please hold one last time sir?". The right of passage for the talented is being forced to work next to these drooling drones and to survive the onslaught of angry customers they cause. That's right! We are purposefully pushed to anger by the telecoms so that they can get top notch management at that second, third, forth, and fifth escalation levels. That is also why they mess up our bills: How else can they get us to call?]

Back to The Manager: Lonestar actually reads my profile, the notes, and my package(s) details while we speak and says "We clearly overcharged you and did not apply a series of discounts you were entitled to according to the notes posted on your profile and your account type. Sorry about this, can you give me 2 minutes to fix this?" to which I say "Sure". 1min59seconds later Lonestar returns and tells me he adjusted my bill and applied a "We wasted an hour of your life with Druidia, who is on her way through the revolving door as we speak" discount of $35 additional dollars. Whatever, I'll take it.

To make a long story longer, when all was said and done my bill fell exactly into my expected range minus $35. I think from now on I should just issue myself a bill (in hieroglyphics of course), mail a copy to Rogers (in Aramaic), sell them the course pack and monthly decoder ring, and then pay it (minus the course fee of course). It would save us both a lot of time but...wait...how would they get their future management? My house of cards has collapsed.

Oh yeah, I skipped Phase 2.

Phase 2: Cluster F**k: aka Service Foreplay. In this phase you make call after call to rep after rep, you get dumped, disconnected, transferred to the creme of the creme of ignoramuses, get stuck in the automate system, get transferred to a department within Rogers where the employees don't even know what they do, end up accidentally on a sex-line, and provide the answers to all the questions above every step of the way until you are so fed up you hang up or leave the line open so that the next rep who picks up has to wait 1 minute (as per corporate policy 18523849) before hanging up to take the next customer.

Moral of the story: Calling our telecoms is the modern games of the Roman Colosseum where the masses are prey to the tele-warriors for the entertainment of the aristocracy that watches us squabble for pennies and laugh. Some of us fight to pay our bill - others roll over or can't be bothered and pay their bill. No wonder governments consider these strategic assets.

So there! That is my philosophy about that.

Whoa Bama!

2007-09-29T21:37:00.000-04:00

Well, I've got a lot to say. I'll try and be efficient.

Socrates, you bring up many valuable points. And your argument is convincing - you had me nodding my head several times. I can see how Hillary is the logical choice. I think that she has the backing, the resources and the experience to make it happen. Whether she wins or not, she has cemented a legacy.

But what does experience really do for you? Should we let that alone determine our decision? I'm not saying it's a bad thing but its not always necessary. How much experience did Mozart have when he composed Andante and Allegro at the age of 5? Or when Tiger won the Masters when he was 22 years old? And yea, I am putting him in this category of people because isn't that how you should feel about the person you want leading your country, or the world. That they should be the best person at what they do. Age and experience are factors, but don't dictate character. Tell me, what are you're opinions of Cheney and Rusmfield's character? And they're two of the most experienced men in Washington...

I want the next US president to be the best politician in politics. Obama's done it without the help of a family dynasty, or loads of money, he's done it in a meritocratic way. He has earned his opportunity. Obama is a political prodigy, like Tiger, Mozart, his age or experience did not inhibited his greatness from manifesting. And its not like he just showed up from his 9-5 job and begin running for the President of the United States. Obama has been in the business of helping people for decades. Both politics and in the community. Harper has only got 2 years on Obama...how's that for perspective (another time we'll talk about Harper cause man I could go on)?

Obama has got experience, he's got that mojo that I envisualize heroes to have. I saw him speak this past week at Washington Square and 24 thousand people and me rocked out to this guy who entered to Kanye's "Touch the Sky" and it didn't seem fake or funny. Its okay that the President can like rap music - its okay. Its okay that he's young, spirited. Its okay that he is idealistic. I can't believe that's an argument that people make. We simply cannot fault people for hoping for the best...for believing that the best is possible.

Anyways, here's the link to his speech from the Square (its rough quality but its the longest on Youtube right now - props to msewtz).
He talks about everything from his experience to his platform to his dream. If you don't know much about Obama, its a good way to learn about him.

I'm going to get more frequent with these. Shorten them down for that audience :)

ODhalla

Hope vs Action: On needs vs. wants

2007-09-20T15:55:00.000-04:00

Although I agree with DhallaB that Obama constitutes a voice of hope for America, I still question whether he is really what our Southern brothers really need. After 8 years of ineffective, damaging, and masochistic leadership in which the image, reputation, and ability to act of the US was damaged economically, socially, strategically, and internationally, Americans NEED someone who can push forth a concrete agenda and bring the country together. Although Obama brings hope to the people, it seems to me that his rhetoric nature and political inexperience carries no concrete agenda or ability to deliver it. Being a young politician, he is a want confused for a need. Or so I argue.

Obama is:
- a great speaker, a young energetic charismatic man, a handsome man, and has lead an exemplary life. He is aggressive life-force that delivers with the eloquence of a Winston Churchill. He is a dreamer that acts and I willingly admit that being a senator, he already has impressive political sense.

Obama is not:
- a proven politician, a person with a clear plan / mandate, someone with the network and experience to carry out complex agendas and appoint the complex beauracracy of the American administration, or the political powerhouse of his immediate opponent.

And so I think he is a promising politician and presidential candidate but I don't think it is his time yet.

Clinton on the other hand is boring old faithful (pun intended) that has more credits and is owed more goodwill in Washington than any other candidates and that can, as the presidential candidate with a democratic House & Senate with the ability to appoint everything but the Supreme Court Justices, change the landscape of the US internally and internationally. She may not be the voice of hope, she may not be exciting, she may not be pretty to look at (but that is what Billy boy is there for!), but she is a true politician. Clinton provides a clear mandate and the ability to deliver it. She has concrete ideas for improving America and lightening the Republican blitzkrieg of the last 8 years. She has already experienced the loss of the major health reform she pushed forth and has learned invaluable lessons on managing the aggressive bi-partisanship of American politics. Clinton is also a name that carries weight in Washington and that people will take seriously. Add to that the fact that she is a very serious woman and has given the better part of her life to US politics and you have someone who will do things.

And so although I do agree that America wants hope and the promise of a better future, I think what they need is a political powerhouse that will get things done and actually deliver a better future for the US. There will be a time for Barak, but I think the time for him will be in a back to back Democratic term...16 years of Democratic rule does not sound too bad to me.

To you my friend!

So there. That is my philosophy about that.

Obama

2007-09-20T00:59:00.000-04:00

Task 1: Leave Canada
Task 2: Move to NY
Task 3: Obama

It struck me, even from my Canadian-situated distance, that the people who believe and support Obama, were driven primarily by one word: hope.

Now, immediately you're writing me of as a Hollywood writer flashing around money words and romantic ideals that fit in nicely into an one-dimensional storyline. I assure you, it ain't like that.

The truth is, I decided to support this man because it seems than many Americans have lost complete faith in their leadership - beyond belief. Indicative of the times, people in the media (stewart, colbert, etc) make money on just how absurd the US leadership is today. Satire and critics have always existed but something tells me when you can buy a calender that has one Bushism for each day of the year - we have a problem. Its comical, but for the supposed most powerful country in the world, its also makes you feel uneasy. Because from a distance it seems as if you can see this wonderful nation rapidly breaking at the seams. Its reputation internationally is in tatters, its economy slagging, its people have gotten over the denial stage and are revolting at every corner. Its manifesting in ugly ways. I needn't go into details because that's enough for a whole other blog.

People here need more than just change. Change is too subtle. It gets promised, after all, by everyone. But what they need and what you cannot buy or build unnaturally, is hope. But thankfully, their destiny for hope has come personified in the man called Obama. I'm going to contribute to this blog on pondering and philandering (a blog can be a love affair) and tell you about my experience helping this man's run from the grass roots level. I'm not writing to convince or compete. I'm not writing as a Canadian or as a critic/

I'm writing to share how I'm inspired by a cause and maybe it'll in turn inspire yourself to find something that you feel you're passionate about. I wouldn't be communicating, after all, if I didn't have a message. And hey, if you get some Obama loving out of this, that aint so bad to. At the very least, I'll be communicating my thoughts as a Canadian kid temporarily placed in the center of the world. I can't promise that they'll always be to you're liking - but I can give you my word that I'll write with sincerity and an attempt some flair to keep you entertained.

I'll be back with thoughts after my first neighborhood meeting.

Thanks to the blog's owner, I Socrates aka L.ISAAC JR, for the invitation. I hope i do you proud.

and so it is so

2007-08-30T20:31:00.000-04:00

i gaze,
awestruck and confused,
at each moment that causes
my future to lie before me,
as it has countless times,
unclear, unassured.
yet, somehow, I AM assured.
things will be as i want,
for my will cannot stop,
and cannot know disappointment.
I BELIEVE,
that i will live a good life,
that i will be as i wish:
a philosopher king.

and so it is so.

so there. that's my philosophy about that.

the will to endure

2007-08-08T21:14:00.000-04:00

We are always tested on our ability to endure hardship and extremes in some form or another. That will that exists within each of us amazes me. Most amazing is the ability to persevere in incredibly difficult situations and keep going. The irony is that while tested, we tend to overestimate the hardship of what we are going through and react in accordance to that overestimation: to remove the tension as quickly as possible. It is only retrospectively that the chain of events becomes clear and their interpretations objective. What a strange plight. Then again, how do you objectively evaluate options when you are in the midst of the fire?

We rarely do. We react based on instinct and our internal desire to accomplish something - endure. From the fire, we look down at the elements around us like puzzle pieces, try to fit them together somehow, develop a plan to free ourselves, and then implemented it. The biggest hope we have moving forward is that we did not stray too far, that we did not forget something important, and that we did not use the wrong tools. If we did stray, forget, or use the wrong tool then maybe we have done more harm then good. Philosophically speaking, paths and tools have their own purpose (their platonic ideal form if you will) and sometimes these do not necessarily fit into ours: their end can overpower ours and create a mixed result of our and their "will" weighted based on circumstance and timing.

Remember Aron Ralston? After being stuck under a rock for days he cut off his arm to pull free and made it back to civilization. I wonder how long it took to make the first cut and how long he stared at the knife and then his arm prior to that. This is the essence of our impressive will to endure, our will to survive. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we changed the tool? Take away the knife and add in a gun with a single bullet: would he have taken his own life eventually to preempt starvation, would he have used his teeth to gnaw off his arm (is that possible?), would he have used the bullet to shoot in the air in hopes of attracting attention? I wonder what he (or any of us for that matter) would have done...How fast can a person go through the 5 steps of grief-fear before deciding to cut: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance...

When pulling through and bringing perceived ease / happiness / freedom back matters more than anything else, I think the extent to which a person will go is almost limitless. Are we more likely to exhibit difficulty in judgment when things are personal and very difficult? For sure. Are we more likely to make mistakes? Perhaps. I have been (and, like all of us, keep being) through some pretty hairy things in my life; things that took my breath away and made me look deep within myself. I have tried and survived and I can say I still have both my arms and my will to endure.

It interests me: this varying essence of humanity.

So there. That is my philosophy about that.

Wal-Mart: Friend or Foe

2007-07-04T21:52:00.000-04:00

One of the things I enjoy the most in this world is engaging in contests with worthy adversaries. Whether friends, acquaintances, perfect strangers, or foes; whether physical, intellectual, spiritual, or other; these contests really "do it" for me. In another life I tried Mensa puzzles and chess with Squidkid: I fared horribly at Mensa and only recently have done better at chess. With Septo, it is always spontaneous feats of strength in which the victor is always unclear but the ensuing beer always Smooooooth! Today, I had the pleasure of entering into an interesting debate about whether Wal-Mart is fundamentally a benefit or blemish on the world. My hope is that we can continue this discussion.

It is true that Wal-Mart pays minimum wage, it is true that they squeeze manufactures' margins, it is true that they drive small businesses out of business, it is true that they are anti-union & anti-benefits, it is true that they make huge profits and that these must come from somewhere, and it is also true that they have disproportional power and influence in the US and globally. With sales of over $315 bn and 1.9 million employees, they are the second largest corporation in the world after Exxon Mobil ($340 bn, 84,000 employees).

So what does that mean about who they are?

Though they may be a big bad wolf in all the respects outlined above, I can't help but think that they are fundamentally a benefit to the world. At the core of why I believe this lies my belief that every individual should be free to choose where, when, and how to spend their money - no matter how foolish or stupid their choice is. I guess you could say that I am a libertarian and that I am convinced that capitalism (for all its flaws) is for now the best means to achieve overall social benefit (sorry Rob - feel free to disagree).

Back to Wal-Mart and why I think they serve a bigger purpose than that which they cost. For one, they employ the equivalent of the island of Montreal. That in itself is impressive and hugely beneficial for the world in that 1.9 million people are working. This means job "skills", "training", a measure of self-determination, and some independence for a lot people. Agreed, not a liberating level of independence but they are the only employer that provides such services to such a huge number of people without being the bureaucratic tax-based machine of governments.

Secondly, they provide low cost (or competitively priced if you prefer) products to any and everyone. Anyone in the world can take a little trip to Wal-Mart and save money. Over the years, this saved money can either be spent on more crap or it can be saved for a down payment on a house, to send a kid to university, or to invest in retirement (you have to admit it is at least possible). This ultimately raises the standard of living of not only those who now have more crap, but more importantly of those that actually recycle these savings into something useful.

Third, Wal-Mart is an efficiency and distribution machine. Their ability to move goods across the countries and globally is enviable because they accomplish a terribly complex task, do it well, and manage to drive down operating costs and improve efficiency / effectiveness all at the same time. Everyone benefits from this but most importantly, I think new economies benefit hugely from the know how and expertise new stores bring as they develop their distribution practices and networks.

Fourth, Wal-Mart is essentially successful because it is a choice. We can blame them for their practices but anyone who shops there supports these tacitly or explicitly - no question about it. Whatever one believes about advertising and marketing (which Wal-Mart is notoriously bad at by the way), no one is forced to shop at Wal-Mart and everyone is free to go anywhere else. In this respect, Wal-Mart is a representation of a social need (aka want) to spend less on things we deem "commodities" and to focus our expenditures on things we really care about. Toiletries and essentials at Wal-Mart, Gucci purse at Saks...

Fifth, (and definitely least popular) is the fact that Wal-Mart brings wealth to all its shareholders. They are a publicly traded company and bound to follow the whims, votes, and pressures of their shareholders. Granted the Waltons (Wal-ton...Wal-Mart...yes, THE family) still hold significant sway but anyone can buy shares. In this sense, for all that had the foresight to purchase shares back in the early 80's when they were a couple of dollars, tremendous wealth was created.

And so yes, Wal-Mart does a lot of things wrong. It is a "low-class" company, started with the idea that everyone deserves useless stuff like a TV, VCR, DVD, and cheap furniture AND that everyone should have the right to save money and get a job. It hasn't evolved much in its philosophy since then and has done so well it is shocking. Wal-Mart is the store of the masses: the proletariat. It is, in my opinion, as close to communism as capitalism can get: low wages, little self-determination for its citizen employees, everything you need, low cost, and low quality. I may not love Wal-Mart...I may choose to shop at my local store once in a while to show some team spirit and have a friendly chat...But at the end of the day I just don't think I can say that they are not a benefit to society.

So there! That is my philosophy about that.

The toughest ones are the best... Decisions that is

2007-06-28T22:23:00.000-04:00

For those that have paid attention and care, there have been two interesting developments in the recent weeks:
1) our ever so graceful Tony Blair has chosen to step down as prime minister and has accepted the position of Western envoy to the Middle East, and
2) the fat cats in England and America have started to question the legitimacy of the tax rates for their corporate brethren at Le Private Equity.

Allow me to demonstrate some rare dexterity by applauding and chuckling simultaneously.

1) For Tony:
Applaud - thanks Tony for a great stint as PM and for showing a great combination of foresight and superior diplomacy. So what, you made a boo boo in Iraq and embarrassed yourself at the end of a great term. Such is life. You are still one of the greats.

Chuckle - Brown, Brown, Brown. How these vestiges of a bygone parliamentary era have been good to you but how they do not even resemble democracy in any true sense. "I've waited for a long Blairie boy. It's my turn now old chap. Kindly step aside will you?"

Applaud - Tony takes over as the Western representative to the Middle East mandated to fix it all over there. I can think of no better way the West can show our commitment to resolving the issues there. Good show!

Chuckle - Didn't you just bomb the crap out of Iraq? Haven't you taken ambiguously "neutral" positions on many issues within the region? Oh, well. To be honest old chum, your still one of the best men for the job. Couldn't have sent GW now could we. I hope at least they give you some pretty good accommodations.

2) Le Private Equity
Applaud - for all the grief we give these guys, they are the essence of the capitalist system we built. Their purpose: like the stronger predator that kills weaker prey and consequently feed all the other animals in the ecosystem, private equity firms take ineffective companies (characterised by their hidden value) and unlock it for society to recycle the assets, staff, and social value. Good on you boys! Recycle on!

Chuckle - 10 to 15% tax for your efforts! Come on, who are you kidding? We all put sweat and tears into this world and pay what, 30 to 40% tax? I think the fact that we give you structures and swallow your shady debt more than compensates for 50% tax on $1.5 billion dollars you should pay!

Applaud - the Americans and the British are pushing forth increased taxation for this cigar crowd. Bravo boys, way to show some balls and political prowess and apply it to your own buddies. It takes a lot to tax any man but to tax a friend, that takes real character!

Chuckle - that bastard paid 15% tax on over $700 million US and invited his friends to a free Rod Stewart concert to celebrate. Ah man, there really is no accounting for taste is there! [Or maybe I just dated myself.]

So there. That is my philosophy about that!

A simple solution to some complex problems...

2007-06-16T08:33:00.000-04:00

Appreciating the natural insanities of the world.

2007-06-13T08:32:00.000-04:00

I thought it a nice change of pace (which will no doubt erupt into some more aggressive argumentation and unfortunate name calling) to espouse some fundamentals to discussion and tools that makes sense of them. My hope is that our very vibrant and opinionated bloggers can agree on certain facts, improve others, and that we can build a greater ideology with a logical process that can be followed by most.

And so, I begin with this precept:

1 - The world is naturally complicated in that our understanding of universal issues is really finite and that the means and ends are more often that not extremely difficult to predict. [It is for this reason that I chose the title and used the slight more inflammatory words "natural insanities".]
Example: Both "science" and "religion" only develop incremental knowledge and improvements to themselves, the difference being that were as science functions in decades, religions function in centuries or longer. Physics takes a long time to clarify concepts but the Talmud takes even longer.

2 - All living things have an inherent inability to control their fate and can only hope to achieve a measure of success in this through a mixture of hard work and time (and cooperation for the larger issues).
Example: No matter how hard I try, I cannot become prime minister of Canada tomorrow. But, if I spent the remainder of my life trying with all my being, my chances of success would drastically improve. Similarly, a lion cannot guarantee catching a gazelle but with determination, practice, and repetition, chances are it will.

3 - There are an unlimited supply of unknowns in the universe and in our world (some of which are permanent) that we can only strive, sometime uselessly, to make sense of.
Example: It is unlikely that physicists will ever truly know what the laws of physics where in the singularity that became the Big Bang was. Similarly, any reflection of past human events is fundamentally tainted by the aggregate of those that write and record the event. The famous "history is written by the winners" point.

4 - Some events have no records and therefore must remain in the realm of pure speculation indefinitely (unless a time machine is invented of course).
Example: Any conspiracy theory is usually founded on either a lack of records or a suspicion of hidden records (Roswell). Similarly, I can only guess whether the history of my parents courtship is in fact the some part of what they have told me or some other reality (my guess is some other reality).

5 - The combination of the natural "insanity" of the universe, lifeforms' inability to truly control their fates, and difficulty in sorting through facts (remember to combine the 3 preceding precepts) demands that discussions use tools or methodologies to sort through the mass (mess) of information and disinformation.
Example: Our predecessors (Hobbes, Smith, Arendt, Socrates [the other one], Aristotle) spend their lives devising mechanisms by which rational, intelligible, and coherent discussions could be possible within the limitations of the human brain. The fundamental genius of these people is that their analysis were done in accordance with those limits and not in spite of those limits. Brilliant!

6 - These men have more to teach us then we have to teach them.
Example: For one, I haven't dedicated my life or energy to this quests as they have. For two, they are all dead.

And so I ask - in the spirit of discussion - that we revise how we "love to hate" each other.
1 - This is meant to be a discussion and not a series of diatribes. {only the original post should be a diatribe aka "a rant")
2 - Let's try to refrain from lambasting each other (unless it is done with in good spirit). I.e. try not to get inflamed.
3 - Put in an effort to understand what the other party is saying no matter how offensive it is to us. (This is essentially the only real quality humans have so if you disregard it, you disregard the greatest gift you have - to disagree with an opponent using their fallacies). [I will readily admit that this is the hardest of all steps but is also the one by which a person grows most and develops intelligence of argument the most.]
4 - Understand that arguments are natural and what make life interesting. Not critically questioning with what your hear or read, no matter how convincing, is allowing yourself to be brainwashes. Everyone has a motive and will say anything to push that through so (by implication), not everything will be true.
5 - Remember that extremes based on blind passion or unsubstantiated facts can never be proven or disproved. In that sense, they are of no more use than "my dog ate it" or "God told me to do it" in a discussion. Defense of any point with inane statements is tantamount to abandoning the argument entirely.
[5B - Be aware that the word "evil" and making outrageous claims such as "the Iraqis have secretly been building WMDs for years, only very few know about it" has kind of lost it's luster ever since GW Bush took office. I would avoid these just for the sake of saving face and not appearing like a right wing Christian Republican (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Perhaps not all is lost.
I have to admit that I was finding these discussions somewhat interesting. It did provoke some thinking in me. I thoroughly enjoying reading the development of some of our contributors thought and argumentation for or against a cause and enjoyed seeing some people loose control and then reign themselves in.

What I have noticed is that when people make comments or claims that are unsubstantiated, take extreme positions, or disregard others criticisms or analysis (the places where the judge would call the court to order), the argument and discussion degenerates into an us vs them attitude and both sides lose (and everyone makes an ass of themselves in the process).

I think I speak for everyone here when I say we all have a high appreciation for life, humanity, laughter, happiness, and living. Some of us have even make careers of educating others or defending a measure of the cause to the outside world. By the very fact that we are all individuals, we will disagree on points. If we allow ourselves to be overrun by our disagreements and our simple community can not get along, how the hell can we contribute anything to the world itself where there are thousands of opinions and perspectives!

So there. That is my philosophy about that!

Considerations on an agressive PETA

2007-06-11T08:30:00.000-04:00

As a one time quasi-vegetarian, I can appreciate that there are limits to tolerable cruelty to animals. I am against factory farming, cruel killing methods, and some measure of unnecessary scientific testing.

On the other hand, allow me the following. Although I also found the video annoying, crass, and barely watchable at times, it does make three compelling points that I will put into more coherent form.

1 - A human's capacity to think, contemplate, and reason that animals have rights stems from our problem solving skill that developed for, amongst other things, the capture of food (animal and other). I therefore see no inherent inconsistency in humans fulfilling our natural compunction to eat meat. Should one choose not to I am as fine with as such one choose to. Telling someone not to eat meat is equivalent to forcing a vegetarian to eat meat in my mind. They are inexcusable violations of rights. There is a design and harmony in the universe that permits the eating of animals, after all, we are but animals also. Nevertheless, I commit that there are better and worse ways of doing this. Complete stoppage is nothing less than protest and there is nothing wrong with personal protests.
2 - Peta's tacit or explicit sponsorship of violence of any kind, whether to person or property, is inexcusable and unacceptable. Violence is a means by which a species protects itself from assured destruction and is only acceptable when the very fabric or coherence of that species is at risk. Dogs, cats, lions, and bees all commit acts of violence when fear, driven by instinctual protection of the self, motivates action. There is obviously an inherent lack of rationality in an ideology of "respect for all living things" that commits acts that could easily bring injury to person or animal. [Added to which violence cheapens the cause and makes the ideology and its believers look like mad people hell bent on chaos with an incoherent argument.]
3 - The most contentious issue of animal testing is the hardest for me to reconcile and validate. Although I must admit that I am not too familiar with the testing practices for cosmetics and the like, I have always thought that if the cosmetics you are making require animal testing, there are probably a few chemical in there that should not be in there. So I would argue that animal testing for non-medical, cosmetic, and inherently superficial reasons is morally dubious. On the other hand, I don't think I would trade my parents, friends, children (when I have some), or even you Anonymous for a chimp or dog or mouse. I understand, with my limited scientific knowledge, that there are (unfortunately) limitations to our ability to create models and simulations to test actual biological responses. For these reason, there comes a stage at the end of a testing cycle, where animals need to be sacrificed instead of humans. It is an unfortunate compromise but one in which people must be willing to accept. I have had a few pets in my life, and I loved them very much, but would not have chosen them over my brother or parents. I believe that the reconciliation is that we should make an effort, as a society, to appreciate and respect the very important role animals play in our lives.

In the end, all living things play such an active and important role in our lives and it is through respect and appreciation that their role can best be appreciated and validated. If PETA want to have your personal protest I applaud them. But, know that when they turn violence and irrational irresponsibility, I take active offence to that and, god forbid they should hurt one of mine, may be inclined to support actions of a more active nature. Ergo, the inherent hypocrisy.

So there. That is my philosophy about that.

Personal favorite

2007-06-09T08:29:00.000-04:00

The Developing Political Ideology of the Western Mind for this New Era

2007-06-07T08:28:00.000-04:00

I don't know if these are symptoms of age or sobriety but, yet again, I am left in full throttled contemplation. Bless thee me cursed brain!
___________________________________________________________________________________

Ever since the Athenians sat in their marble civic centres and debated political, military, or individual actions, ideology has been a (if not the) driving force behind basic perspective, complex worldview, and structured decision making. Dumbed down: I eat a Big Mac, buy some stock, and rag on Señor Bush's latest blunder because I believe - explicitly or tacitly - in the ideological system we have created. I am Canadian!

But can I be proud of it and how far would I go to protect it (i.e. how much does it mean to me)?

And so I come to the article of the week (possibly the article of a longer period but only time will tell). I readily admit that it is not beautifully written; some turns of phrase even gave me slight goosebumps. Nevertheless, we forgive the author because he has proved, despite his young age, that he is a competent and capable politician. The man is Tony Blair and the article is "What I've Learnt" in this week's Economist. (I have included the article as a note in Facebook for you to read should you feel the compulsion.)

And so I come to my point. I am in complete agreement with fundamental message of the article. I believe that my freedom to bad food, to invest in risky (foolish) ventures, and to hurl a few insults at our leaders is paramount to who I am. I know that the luxury of this system is that we can mock, ridicule, and poke holes in its every misgiving and I know that there does not exist, in the world today, another such permissive system. Were any of us to live in China, Russia, Burundi, Myanmar, or Venezuela we would be hard pressed to such expressions without repressions. The fact is, the older (and either wiser or more cynical) I get, the more I appreciate how good we have it here and how much that goodness means to me.

But what does that mean?

The article is, to use a British turn of phrase, spot on in the following respects:

First, we as Westerners must be proud of our ideology. We spend so much time focusing on political correctness and fear of offending the sensibilities of all people and even the worst of people, that we hide our pride and project instead a weak lack of faith to the world. Within the boundaries of decorum, I think there is nothing wrong with saying "You know what Mugabe, your wrong. What you do to your people is wrong and the ideological structure that allows you to do this to them is terrible and reprehensible. I am Canadian and I'm going to do my best to stop you!" I say we strike the words "relative" and "that's just the way it is over there" out of our vocabularies and replace them with "I am the Athenian now and you are not. You, you my fellow human, I will respectfully call barbarian and nothing less!" Why? Because fundamentally I would rather have all the people of the world live as we do, and not as they do. I would rather that and god damn it, that is ok.

Second, in this modern state of affairs where invisible enemies are willing to give up their lives to commit barbarism, the barbarian will only - the vast majority of the time - respond to strong measures. If we must defend and protect our "lifestyle", we must do so as if it was our child because it shares that fragility [remember the Freedom Act]. You see, state on state negotiations are easier than those involving guerrillas because I can see, meet, negotiate, reason, disagree, and compromise with my "foe". I am not saying that those that employ guerrilla tactics may not have a valid grievance by any means. But, so long as they resort to the use of civilians to communicate their grievances, we should respond with extreme prejudice at their very foundations. At the same time, our actions must reflect a moving forward towards helping those that, OUT OF DESPERATION, turn to these hidden organizations for support and "raison d'etre". A global perspective must be used in dealing with tactics that target civilians: protect and educate the civilians, afford them opportunities to self-determination, get their support in combating their attackers, and do it together as a Western partnership. The failure of the Coalition of the Willing was precisely that it became the Coalition of the Willing.

3 - We must understand that, as the world evolves and centres of influence shift from the West to other areas such as Asia, it will become increasing difficult to ensure the survival of our ideological boundaries unless a positive precedent is set and its philosophical merits are clear. The fact is that a fundamental reason for this current global conflict is that powerful ideological differences exist and express themselves via unreconciled disagreements. For example, the West may condemn Sudan for the slaughter and mass migrations of people in Darfur but so long as China maintains strategic interest in the area and maintains energy relationships, any actions of compelling force are impossible. Similarly for Kosovan independence and Russia, Iran and Russia/China, etc. Reality dictates that as these regional conflict continue or escalate and inaction permeates because of strategic interests, resolve (to use a Bushism) will become the deciding factor. Unfortunate as that may be.

4 - Any incoming relevant and effective Western political rulers must understand that modern politics have become cosmopolitan, and that right and left are now useless barriers to progress. These concepts are vestiges of a previous era and do not represent the reality of our role in the global arena. Left is now better expressed on a global scale in the politics of China or Venezuela, and right is now exemplified by the authoritarian dictatorships of the Middle East or Thailand. How can we really call Harper rightist when he contents with the Military Junta of General Surayud Chulanont (Thailand)? The new cosmopolitician of the West is best personified in the Ultra-Green Republican government of Swartchenegger, the pro-choice/pro gay-marriage of Republican Presidential candidate Giuliani, the Kouchner appointment of Sarkozy, or in the [late] eco-maneuverings of both Bush and Harper. These men [let us not forget Blair!] exemplify a new political unity and shared belief in the greater ideology of our society and makes them effective.

For those seeking a career in politics or who consider themselves its powerful participants, this is an interesting time. I will not promote paranoid delusions that we are doomed or that our way of life is "under attack" but I will caution that the love and belief we have in our system is being tested. A test is meant to evaluate the strength of the testee. Study hard, show commitment, and you may get a A+. Rely on sweet talk, enter the challenge unfocused, and you may find yourself on Squidkid's bottom step [See "The Art of Grading" 2007-05-13].

So there! That is my philosophy about that.

Sovereign Wealth and the Future of the Nation State

2007-06-04T08:27:00.000-04:00

It seems that the themes of my last few blogs have lacked the humour and whit of my fellow bloggers but [regretfully] that is the direction my inspiration is taking these days. Ergo, I can only promise to probe the mind in this discussion and will, yet again, not merit a ha-ha. And sorry, this one is long.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

The modern nation state has evolved from systems of hierarchical monarchy, city-states, and medieval feudalism to become improved engines bent on protecting groups of peoples and cultures. Its greatest challenges have always been expressed when the "peoples" and the state they live in don't agree on issues of direction or protection. Without explanation I will site examples of states and provinces like Quebec, Israel, and Bosnia/Serbia and peoples like Kurds, Berbers, or the Druze.

Anyways. I recently read an article that activated in me a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. As some of you may know, China is quickly becoming a global power house and has amassed a stability investment fund of over a trillion dollars to hedge itself against fluctuations in the US dollar and a possible market bubbles. This, like most international portfolios of assets held by states, are commonly referred to as sovereign wealth for reasons that are self explanatory. Well, what this article mentioned that arose those strong feeling I mentioned was the government of China's decision to diversify its asset base by investing the meager (!!) sum of $3 billion on 10% ownership in the form of non-voting shares of the world's largest private equity group Blackstone.

"But Laurence, who cares!"

Under normal circumstances (and I would have a hard time proving these are not normal circumstances) I would agree. But what struck me is that China has purchased shares in a company who's primary purpose in the world is to drive business efficiency internationally without regard for social mindedness, national boundaries, or business loyalties. They are the best of the best because their only care is pure business process, protocol, and ROI (return on investment) for their individual investors.

I am not sure if you are following the inherent irony of this team: a communist authoritarian state with a focus on social benefits through control of individual rights and a business entity with mandated maximization of real individual benefit (through ROI) over any controllable external consideration. Curious no? [Obviously, China stands to gain because the government will learn how to structure and operate a private equity behemoth to manage it's growing $1.2 trillion cash reserve and Blackstone will probably get proprietary access to Chinese markets that other firms have been unable to get.]

But what I find really intriguing is precisely that this is the next logical step in an ever growing Chinese aggressive strategy to acquire access, control, and dominance over industrially developed "western" societies. Follow the evolution: first manufacturing base substances (simple parts, T-shirts, and everything in a dollar store), then complex manufacturing (cars, large machinery, turbines), then high technology (space program, nanotechnology, advanced software), and finally pure high finance (investment banks, hedge funds, and private equity).

And so - without knowing whether it is a good thing or a bad thing - I stand here realizing that the biggest global up-and-comer is in the process of buying for itself the ability to tear the old, traditional, slow moving, fat, and over-staffed organizations we have spent generations building, watching deteriorate (from a business perspective), and employing countless of our families (from a social perspective).

As an aside: This, of course, is ideologically permissable because we built the system so that anyone could invest in anything as long as they could reach an agreement with the seller. But did we intend for the state to do so? Traditionally, states do this when they have disappearing wealth (like the oil rich countries) and want to secure their future with internal projects and the like. But this is clearly different. It is purposeful and direct.

And so I ask these questions:
*What can we foresee will be the reaction of other nations (US and UK most importantly) once they realize this is an ongoing process?
*Are we comfortable with our governments driving these types of business decisions?
*Is it the government's job to seek the investment of highest return for its citizens? (Compare to pension funds that are already becoming more active investors.)
*Where does social responsibility, environmental responsibility, and sustainable development fit into the new world order? and
*Will such a system enhance or deter from us accomplishing our social goals?

As I have surmised before, it seems to me that the nation state is undergoing an evolution of sorts in which it will expand its function as a tool societies use to accomplish their personal business and social goals (in addition to protecting its citizenry). The future will include a world of states fighting for controlling stakes in the worlds largest business entities and projects with super funds fed with tax dollars. And so I end by coming back to the beginning: weird and peculiar that the future should use "social" state based entities to control and profit within the system built to encourage "individual" creation and ownership.

Strange indeed...but somehow fitting.

So there! That is my philosophy about that.

where will it go?

2007-05-29T08:26:00.000-04:00

it seems fitting that since we are all spending a lot of time there, we should talk briefly about what we now affectionately call "the book".

Article

For those of you who do not know, Facebook is going through what I would call a major business transition. Whereas before it was primarily used as a closed society to meet up with old friends and such, it is refocusing to offer more revenue oriented services such as music sharing, selling items, advertising, and the like.

I am not sure if this is good or bad. Targeting MySpace will definitely push the envelope of how these sites are used seeing as how Facebook is superior in usability and coherence. But, what I love is the total lack of spam and aggressive advertising..

And so I wonder how this will change.

My apologies to all for straying from the usual humour of the site! wink..

So there! That is my philosophy about that!

when the show ends, only the actors and groupies are left...which are you?

2007-05-03T08:25:00.000-04:00

this blog, like the Shakespearean stage and like the stage of life, can play tragedies, comedies, has great actors, some dubious efforts, a notoriety of groupies, flowers, stage hands, and spectators.

like the stage and the play that is thrust upon it, life and this blog requires certain people to take the charge, push the performance, and push the asinine mass towards a better production for all.

without these social tyrants, whether elected or not, efficiencies are lost, activities die or never start at all, and like this blog, no entries are registered and its purpose is lost.

the trout, a metaphor for the power of the individual when amongst peers, is truly dead.

or is he?

i content that no.

reason: this particular trout has never actually lived.

the democratic principle of the mass actively participating in its self-determination is a farce because each individual of the group expects his neighbour to act in his stead.

and that, that, friends is the tragedy of the stage of both this blog and of life in general (or does that make it a comedy?)

thanks for reminding us rake

So there! That is my philosophy about that.

Inter Provincial Limbo

2007-04-10T08:24:00.000-04:00

So I am contemplating the purchase of a car to drive to the train station (it would end up saving me about almost an hour in transport every day if I drove-trained). The car in questions will be a piece of shit - as per my deliberate choosing - will most likely cost around a G, but is an unquestionable beauty. Just to wet your appetites, it has one of those one piece front seats that looks like a couch when you raise the arm rest: do you see how this works for me?

The first time I test-drove this vehicle, in all of its brand-spanking-new-eggshell-white-painted-oldman-classic colour I realized that my fellow road warriors were inexplicably drawn to this mobile Freedy Mercury coffin. It glows at it moves down the road with its fake spoked wheels and booming 50 watts system (just to give you an idea, Mojo's system has around 600 or so watts). The real kicker is that the previous owners were benefit-claiming-neat-freak-seniors that probably never saw north of 110.

Gentleman, she is a virgin. Know how I knew?
1) She is white
2) She is 50 watts quiet
3) When I raised the armrest for the first time there was a barely audible squeak
4) She makes herself look better with fake "spokes" (4 of them in this case)
5) If you push her too hard she starts to shake and make worrisome noises
and
6) If your not careful getting into her trunk, she will slam down on you and kill you

I think my point is proven. Now I just have to decide whether I want a virgin in my life and how much she is really going to cost me!

Women vs. Men

2007-03-22T08:19:00.000-04:00

My girlfriend sent me a long email (that spam type stuff) explaining and justifying why women go the the washroom together. It involved some stuff about wet seats, purses, and lack of toilet paper or something. I thought it interesting that no one has ever defended why men go alone. Being adventurous, I decided to try:

1. Go into bathroom and squeeze between two burly men at the one free urinal until you feel your shoulders fit tightly in between theirs and hear the two guys on the outside of the line of 6 urinals groan as their outside shoulders squeeze into the ungiving side walls of the washroom. (When drunk this arrangement ensured no one falls down while peeing - ergo the genius)
2. Extract penis from pants and try to use all four fingers to hold it to protect from curious eyes and to pretend hugeness of member.
3. Piss and feel slight mist of urine hit the hand. Attempt to aim for some "target" that it has become your mission to urinize!
4. Destroy target with your piss-storm. Smirk at your successful attack.
5. Flick, shake, and squeeze until it starts to feel good. Stop because you may send the wrong idea to the two guys you are wedged between.
6. Make a mental note to continue activity later in the privacy of your masturbatorium.
7. Walk to sink and look into the mirror making sure you don't look too drunk and that your hair is fine. If you are balding, check receding of hairline. If you are too drunk, your perception is fucked and you think you look fine anyway.
8. Smile in approval at how hot you are to waste a little more time and exit bathroom ready to bitch out your woman if she is not there ready to get back to your drinks that your FRIEND IS WATChING FOR YOU!

a new outpost...

2007-03-21T08:23:00.000-04:00

as i sit here...on guard at the new outpost on mount TO (it's actually more of a river valley ready to get run over at the quickest polar ice melt) i wonder what my purpose is as this young Montrealer comes to "educate" about the merits of being a seeker of "random play", for whatever that means.

there is a lot of money in TO, that is for sure. there is a lot of work, ooops-ortunity...once more unto the breach dear friends and all that jazz...but what does it mean?

as you can tell, my punctuation is atypical, my spelling worse, and my lack of class distinction a symbol of my individual rebellion against long entrenched families of the upper clazz. those that generations ago had a deserving member of the human race who qualified himself/herself...

but i digress...

what is the point of having moved, having explored a new city against all ods and against all better judgment?...................

...........a woman. and god love me. i would do it again! (coming from me that has double the religious significance mind you!)

be weary friends. fore they are enough to get the worst amongst us to be wed/bested!

god speed (metaphoric) and good luck (literal)

perspective on microsoft vista

2007-03-06T08:21:00.000-05:00

I just bought a new laptop. She's a sexy white and silver special edition with all kinds of nifty gadgets and some trimmings that make even the hardest of computer aficionados tingle in that special place. Since I was smart enough to buy this beaut a couple of weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get vista on it!

I can almost hear you jealous drones and XP wanna-bees turn green at my luck and scoff at the rant that will follow. WELL FUCK THAT! VISTA IS AS USEFUL AS A SUPERMODEL ON A LONG HARD HIKE! Pretty nice to look at, smooth to the touch, good to show off to your friends, and a matter of pride when trophied around. But, like that supermodel, VISTA just doesn't have enough food in the stomach to be useful for any demanding work besides sniffing some lines and slamming a few. She just ain't no good if you really want to get to the dirty.

My Vista excursion has been as such:
- First couple of days try to figure shit out because it's completely different
- Add software that I always carry on my laptops and quickly discover that half the sources I use don't have Vista compatible stuff
- System crash: restart
- Communicate with computer manufacturer to get updates to fix problems
- Find out updates are still "in the works" (ie not available)
- Discover that a few of those "nifty gadgets" don't work cause "no-updatey"
- System crash: requires 2 reboots and 15 minutes in special start mode
- Next couple of days sourcing all kinds of shit online to fix half the leftover problems by myself
- System crash: reboot
- Start to enjoy some smooth operations
- Install Office 2007
- Total system crash: 2 restarts and 15 more minutes in special mode
- Outlook doesn't work (it was the program I needed the most of course)
- Total total total system crash: freezes the computer for half an hour, requires half a dozen restarts, and needs about 2 hours in special start mode
-....week one, now on to week two....

Yup, that is Vista in all its glory. But hey, it looks cool and it's in XML or something which means (??????). Moral: stay the fuck away until service pack 8.1 comes out (or whatever they'll call it this time) unless your the type that likes to parade around with some pretty ass sexy candy!

For new beginnings!

2007-01-28T08:18:00.000-05:00

For those that do not quite know. I have now returned to the world of the non-self-employed. Found myself an interesting little "boutique" where I do not shop but sell and flatter. Because I could not describe the feeling of getting back into things properly, describe leaving my house at 06:30 to be work at 08:00 and then leaving working between 17:00 and 19:00 to make it home an easy hour and a half later I decide to find someone who said it better. And who else but shakes..

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English(unemployed) dead.
In peace(unemployment) there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war(work) blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O'erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest English(Canadians).
Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof(hard-work)!
Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their swords for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call'd fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to war. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in England(Canada and some other country as long as you are now legally working in Canada), show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry(I Socrates), England(Canada), and Saint George(Employment)!'
Exeunt. Alarum(I Socrates), and chambers go off"

"o, what a rogue and peasant slave am i!"

if your curious i work at a little shop

So there! That's my philosophy about that!

Bend me like Big-Ham...

2007-01-13T08:16:00.000-05:00

..is it possible that when a man makes $250 dollars over five years, and that he use to make $40 for two, knowing that he will never get any better, that he could not be doing it for the money??

"if it doesn't fit///MUST we acquit?"

the time has come when finally, finally another country / continent will be dumping their expired goods on our grounds. for years, the quasi-retired sub-par spectres of north american sportsmanship have been blessing (or bleeding) their last pints of would-have-been could-have-been on the tax-rich shores of the EU. We gladly gave these four-score use to score athletes the opportunity to sell their wares at a greatly reduced, Wal-Mart worthy, bargain-basement price. And what have we gotten for ump-teen years of "right-to-retire" policy??

a branded has-been that sells sex (to both women and men) for more money than he has ever seen in a single contract? nay! a premium level football star with the brains to marry the "richest" of the world's spice-racks? nay! a chance to show off just how rich we can make you and how much we will play for those that can't cut it internationally? perhaps. one thing is for sure, we are not getting the deal we have been offering. quid pro quo this is not!

beggin-for-beckham is the new catch phrase of the MLS and of Americano Nordo! Desperate cash-junkies waiting for another fix to flash the stack and spend some dinero! Have we lost the value of the dollar? No! We never knew it.

As a parting piece of retribution I offer this.. We have, indeed, offered Sir Big-ham $250 quid to bless our pitches (and bitches inevitably). We have done this. But! But my friends! In the very spirit of excess, in the very spirit of what makes this land grand, we have offered Robert Nardelli, former CEO of Home Depot, $210 dollars NOT to play anymore! Beat that Beckham! Long live North America where we pay to walk away!

"if the pay is right//walk away, head high!"

the rant that could not be: purposefully vague

2006-12-30T08:14:00.000-05:00

there are a few things that i would like to talk about but that i know i can't for reasons that may be apparent or may not. for example, i could say that i think it is categorically wrong for the iraqis to start their "society" by killing saddam (especially considering that from what i understand capital punishment isn't constitutionally permissable).

there are other things also: why is it that i can't have the option to pay to watch new releases on my computer from home and am forced to download flics (incidentally, has anyone seen the quality that's out there!?!? holy cow. it's almost HD!)i would pay 5-10$ to see a premier at home but that's just who i am.

some other rants would include: what traditions we keep that should be lost and which we lose that we should have kept. for example, how come people don't christmas carol anymore but still insist that christmas is an exclusively christian holiday (this year i was pleased to meet a few muslims, jews, and hindus that enjoyed the gift-giving, food-eating, christmas-tree tradition).

lastly, let's rant about the fact that tough decisions must be made. imagine the hanky panky pretty world of no hard decisions. don't get me wrong. i love the tough decision as much as the next guy but sometimes i'm just not in the mood. sometimes.

taber-neck. merry christmas, happy hanukkah, feliz navidad, om. so there. that's my philosophy about that!

Tis the Season to Get in Trouble

2006-12-20T08:10:00.000-05:00

Aaah yes, the time of the year has come when all employees have their yearly chance to forever tarnish their reputation and live the next few weeks or months in shame...that's right ladies and gents, it OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY TIME!! oooooh yeah!

Oh how I remember, having once been an employee, the fantastic way in which I did all the don't and none of the do's! Allow me this little revist of my own experience in Christmas Party management. In order to make my story prettier, I googled the basic rules of office parties as a guideline...Some of you may want to print this and keep a copy on your beer glass so you can know what your not doing (I will not name names but his nickname is very close to mine..damn, I've said to much already!)

Basic rules and my experience of them:
1) Don't Drink Too Much
First of all, how the hell am I gonna do things that I can regret later (like puke all over a bathroom stall somehow magically avoiding the toilet entirely) unless I spend most of my night at the open bar and work hard to get everyone drunk. At least that way I know that others are coming down with me (to puke at the washroom that is)! (N Jr is also known for his competence in this area - sleeping in stalls..Priceless)
2) Don't Treat the Office Party Like a Singles Bar
What!?! Have you seen some of the coworkers I have had to work with on a regular and fantasize about it later! The Christmas party is the one night you are justified in using that highly effective aphrodisiac nectar alcohol to lure them to the stalls (hint: try to use a different stall that in #1). Do you know how much more effective I am at work when I know I got some and that I could (maybe) sneak to the washroom for some more!!)
3) Don't Flirt or Act in a Sexually Provocative Manner
What!?! Let's get things straight. I am man, and I like to make the sexy time! How is this possible without letting my intention known to vagine??? It's not and therefore I suggest that the Christmas party is the only time you can flirt and act sexually provocative! The only time you can later blame alcohol if unrequited..
4) Don't Wear Suggestive Clothing
Ok, this I can do as long as women agree to only wear easy access suggestive clothing! Man I remember one Christmas party when.. What a proper dress can do for a girl!
5) Don't Let Your Guard Down
Huh? Is this for fencing parties? I don't let my guard down AT WORK. How the hell is my boss gonna know what I really think unless I let it out a little? Only then can I ask about or say things that don't concern me! Intel baby, Intel!
6) Don't Tell Dirty or Off-Color Jokes
Fuck, there goes my repertoire. The few jokes that I do know are all dirty and most of the best jokes I have ever heard have been shared at Christmas parties. Besides, have you seen the shit they use to email me!!!
7) Don't Use Foul Language
Holy fucking bloody shit! Are you guys adding these up? One can almost see the fun disappearing.. If the open bar bartender is a fucking dickhead and being cheap with the booze, you gotta let him/her know so that they can correct the problem!
8) Don't Talk About People Behind Their Backs
lol..after a few drinks why talk behind their backs? Tell them straight to their faces! Especially the ones that have always pissed you off anyway because again, you can always blame the booze later.
9) Don't Bring Uninvited Guests
But what is Mojo gonna do? And how else can I reliable expect to polish off the open bar. I need some heavy hitters to get the job done!
10) Don't Underestimate the Importance of Your Guest's Behavior
lol..lol..lol..lol..lol..lol.. My guests in #9! lol..lol..lol.. Underestimate! I invite him because I estimate his behaviour with 100% accuracy and can reliably know that someone will be worse then me if they try to keep up with us! Strategic thinking people!

Anyways (lol..lol..my guest's behaviour), following this list takes all the fun out of Christmas parties and ruins the one day of the year when you can drink on the company bill and make an ass of yourself. The Christmas party is a traditional festivity in which all employees are expected, nay required, to explore the full depth of their own internal capacity to break down alcohol. It is the one day that your coworkers and bosses can see how dedicated you are to things you do (in this case drinking). It is the one day the girls and boys that you yearn for are willing to comply and let you "have some". Most importantly, it is the one day of the the year that becomes source of months of stories and countless memories and is most beneficial for cementing camaraderie and team spirit (you remember that time!).

Since most careers are 5 years per company, who really cares what you do at the 5 Christmas parties? So go ahead, fuck up your career at a company you won't even be at down the road. Is it worth holding back all the fun for something you know won't last?? Besides, we all know these rules are never followed. If they were, companies wouldn't be legally responsible for their employees DUIs, which they are and employees wouldn't have to duck out to go bar hopping together afterwards. So there. That's my philosophy about that!

Drink up and Merry Christmas.

some lost traditions

2006-06-22T08:13:00.000-04:00

as most of you undoubtedly know, i am not much for tradition in the "traditional" sense of the word. i remain convinced that traditions are good but that some of us must reject them to provide the required check-and-balance needed to make sure that the Judeo-Christian philosophies don't take over and we're not shot for sodomy.

anyways, one increasingly lost tradition that is beginning to piss me off as the disappearing act persists is the lack of snow at Christmas time. i know a lot of you tourists to my country (both landed and not), you first generationals (half-breeds or pure breeds), and you papier-mache boys/girls will tell me winter sucks, it's too cold, your nipples get sensitive, and all that other lady-boy stuff.

but as a half-african, half-400-year-veteran half-breed first generational of this country I SAY NO! god damn it i need snow to run in, to get asthma attacks from, to feel the freeze on every extremity, to shag by the fire to warm up those frozen bits, and i definitely, definitely, need snow to push my loved-ones into the snowbank and hopefully get their faces right into the snow! snow-burn! oooh yeah

that's christmas and that's the holiday season. bring back my snow you bastards! when i want warm i'll move to florida and i'll be 65! So there. That's my philosophy about that!

the "hidden" promotions of corporation

2006-06-20T08:09:00.000-04:00

As most of you already know, I am the victim of many a-strange and dubious corporate shenanigans (newbies refer to my "Rebates" blog in the best of section).

"But Laurence, what happened and why does this keep happening to you?" To provide a detailed answer to the later first: I haven't the faintest fucking idea! And now for the important question: what happened?

I have recently decided to get a Toronto number to feel fancy by having two numbers as well as to reduce my costs. Anyways, so I call Rogers to undergo the formalities: select a phone, get a package, and negotiate some extras. Needless to say and confirming my luck in these matters, I am served by your run-of-the-mill retard with a rare form of "give-you-all-you-want-even-if-I-can't" turret's. I hang up pleased and ready to receive my package in 3-5 business days which should include (withhold jealousy please): a W810i, a killer package, a free bluetooth headset (who the fuck uses those anyway? but free is the right price for me), and a free upgrade to 4GB of memory...or so bumbling-boy tells me.

Needless to say, 7 business days later (that's right, SEVEN because apparently my friend did not understand that he had to file the order in order for it to be processed..a rare champ!) I receive my package. The box has (drum role please) the phone - one phone - and a sim card. Well the package was wrong, so wrong; the headset forgotten and the memory upgrade eaten by the postman who must of confused it for a communion wafer.

Having developed a certain expertise in dealing with corporate bullshit and employee idiocy recently, after three phone calls I had restored a credit for 60 somewhat dollars (contingent on proof of purchase of a headset) and the location of a secret page on the Rogers website. [In my extensive experience, these pages exist all over corporate websites. You can't search for them, you can't google them (WHAT!!!), and only a manager who is very sick of dealing with you and will do anything to shut you up will let you know how to find it.]

And there you go.. a free 4GB upgrade (value of 200$ before tax)! These hidden website hide (obviously seeing as how their hidden) a wealth of free shit and interesting opportunity. My only hope is that one of you can take advantage of this particular one (I suggest you try it anyway if you have one of these phones).
Note to all bloggers: should you find another of these pages, PLEASE POST THE LINK!

Merci

talk about driving me crazy!

2006-06-16T08:06:00.000-04:00

holy fuck am i goddamn annoyed!

as a savvy consumer, i believe in doing my responsible duties and researching the products i will purchase: basic comments, quality appraisals, fair price ranges, and other information that one needs to harass and make feel stupid those low paid sales people that don't give a shit and just want to make their commission.

so i do my shit, get my info on this new router and everything is peachy. i go to el futureshop where i can reliably expect to be served by a "who gives a shit" student of Rich's and get some "i wanna drive every independent business out of business" prices..(or was it bestbuy? honestly, can anyone tell me what that shit is about: the exact same stores, with the exact same products, and the exact same prices and employees (cloning will make us all crazy!)..one is blue and red and the other is yellow and blue or some other combo you colour see-ers like)

so i buy my shit and get an extra 20 bucks off cause some retard printed the wrong price on the display label (thank you bestbuy/futureshop for motivating idiocy in your staff and hiring all the students that Rich fails!). after watching the babbling-kids fight over the label for five minutes, i walk out with my $119 router that cost me $59 (before taxes of course..that's another rant entirely)

and so i get to my point: mail-in rebates!

holy jesus H, son of a, grosse tapette, motherfucking, asshole munching, castro vindicating shit! who the hell invented these things?!?!?

you buy the product, get a receipt that's about 4.5 feet long and get three copies of it cause "fuck a couple more trees" is right.. then you have to read the 4.45 feet of instruction cause the actual receipt is the length of a couple of ass hairs and figure out not only is surgery on the box required (something about original UPC or USB or ATM or something) plus some filling, stapling, scanning, photocopying, and blood and semen samples before mailing the three pounds of documents to the company

and then you wait.....and wait.....and wait.....and wait.....and wait.....and wait.....and realize two months later that the company is never going to send you that $0.87 discount you were promised. it was all a ruse to get Canadapost to make an extra 3 pennies in sales and to get me to waste 4 hours and 50 braincells (which is a lot since i have to save as many as i can for my drinking let's remember)..

and so: i hate mail-in rebates. they infuriate me and scare me. once i realize that i have been duped into the Canadapost scam i cry like a little girl and go fetal, then i curse everything holy and begin the administrative process to prove to "the provider" that i am worthy of my cheque..my glorious $0.87 cheque

lessons from me: stay away my friends, they are a plague - like locusts onto the world - full of hate and ugliness and complicity draining the very spirit of creativity and righteousness..

i hate them because they hurt me and I CAN'T STOP FILLING THEM OUT!!

I JUST WANT THE MONEY! THE MONEY!

sniff,